I 26M had a conversation with one of my friends (23M) about this and he was saying that a girl might feel unease if you tell them you’re looking for something long term as opposed to just dating casually and seeing where things go even if they too want a long term partner.
Personally I want something long term and won’t compromise on that. However, I’m NOT saying that when I date a woman, that I expect her to be in a long term relationship with me after simply going on a date(s).
Thoughts?
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For the women that want a relationship, they’d love to hear that
For the women that want to date casually, they won’t wanna hear that
Presides doesn’t come into it. If I’m dating with intent then that’s great, we’ll see. If I’m looking for casual then we can both move on to someone more suitable
Women who want to date casually are going to feel uneasy.
Women who want to find a long term relationship are going to be happy about it.
Women who don’t want to date at all are going to run.
By sharing about wanting a long term relationship you will attract the right kind of women and turn away the ones that are not going to be long term partners anyway.
I think there are going to be a lot of women who are interested in a long term relationship out there. You can make that known about yourself early on by giving hints like “I tend to want to date one person at a time” and leave it open to see if she says the same.
I think the only time a girl would get uneasy (assuming the romantic interest is mutual, as a given) despite wanting a long term relationship too is if she feels like you’re love bombing her: there’s some people that’ll talk about ‘our’ wedding on the first or second date and it’s like buddy, you don’t even know me yet?? That sets alarm bells off.
No, it’s best when the guy is honest about his ambitions and dealbreakers from the start.
Just swipe on those women who want a relationship too and be honest about your intentions. That way there will be no misunderstandings
I always appreciate the honesty, whether the honesty is same as what I want or not. The alternative is manipulations, and I don’t want that.
Is this a thing now? Back in my day it was the women that had to pretend we didn’t want anything serious so we didn’t scare the men away.
In principle, not a problem and a really good. In practice, I do think there’s a question of delivery – “I’m looking for something serious/long-term” vs. springing questions of exclusivity too soon.
Basically, ensuring the pitch is “this is the goal” not “this is what I want, from you, personally, right now at an early stage.”
If a woman feels uneasy just by you sharing what you are looking for, then she is definitely not your type..and if you don’t mention just because they feel uneasy you will be at the risk of a heartbreak.
The best way is to ask indirectly if you think it might be too early for her for this discussion. Ask her does she believe in love, does she think that the One exists. Her opinion on these sorta open questions will kind of reveal what she is looking for. Definitely, all this after you feel a connection.
There are way more women looking for LTR then men, as someone likely in your dating age range it’s RARE to find a man open about wanting this and certainly makes me more likely to make a move on them
I think this whole idea that saying you want a long term relationship means you’re all in on date #1 is deeply bizarre. I’ve heard it from a number of men. I’m looking for long term. I only go out with people looking for long term. I don’t go out with them again if we don’t get along. It’s not a contract.
Think of it this way: you need a new pair of sneakers. You go to the shoe store and the worker asks what you’re looking for. You don’t say “oh, I just want to see what happens”. You say “sneakers”, and then you look a bunch if them and pick out a few to try on and you keep foing that until you find a pair that fits you. The worker is never like “but you asked to try this pair on so you HAVE to buy them! They’re sneakers, like you said!”
It depends. For instance, I would love to be in a long term relationship. But obviously, when I enter one, there’s a 50/50 chance that it will work out or it won’t. So when I start dating, it’s about getting to know the person and seeing if the person is compatible. I can’t expect to jump into a long term relationship right away, so if he’s not compatible to what I am looking for, I’m not gonna stick around. I gotta find the person that works with me as much as I want to work with them. But it’s totally fine to let them know what your goals and values are.
Nope. If you’re vetting for likeminded individuals this isn’t a problem. I hate wishy washy wimps who want to “see where things go” and have “no expectations.” That’s such fuckboy speak
What? I wouldn’t date you if you don’t want long term.
The app has options : hookup, casual, long term, marriage and not sure what the fuck I look for ..
You can’t choose two.