Just want to get some opinions. I love my job, but I’m a bit of a black sheep. It’s a mixture of a very professional job, and a very artistic job & career. I’ve treated it as a bit of an adventure the past 7 years. I get the sense from people it’s a very interesting side of me when I break it down and explain it.
But the last thing I want to come across on a first impression is “all work and no play”. Or come across as “that guy that’s trying to impress a gal with his job, when we live in the 21st century”.
(Yeah. You can tell I’m a bit neurotic).
So with that out of the way — how does a guys job play into your perceptions of him when you’re dating and getting to know him?
11 comments
If he makes enough to not affect my own lifestyle of my finances, I often don’t care. If the man is passionate about his work, that’s extra points.
If he’s working at McDonald’s and struggling to get by in life then no I wouldn’t. He would need to be on the same level as me in order for it to work.
I care more that he’s happy in his chosen career. You spend so much time working you don’t want to be miserable.
I’m a very career oriented person and would want an equal partner so if I’d consider dating someone long-term, I’d want them to have a stable career or at least work in a field they’re passionate about. I’m 24 though so it’s hard to meet people my age who are on the same page :’)
As a doctor, I do care about my partners education, job and income. As long as he can afford to live a decent life himself Im happy!
I’m 27F in a fairly moderately/well paid job for a very large and reputable company.
I am on around 28k a year with perks in the UK and didn’t go to uni, my salary raises each year and I have a lot of prospects at work so I know my salary will hopefully keep rising. My job is fairly easy, office or home based and 9-5 so I am grateful to be on this sort of salary for this sort of work.
I don’t think money/ job titles are everything but I would expect a man to at least work and be able to support himself and mainly go halves with me on things like dates and holidays and eventually rent/ a mortgage. As well as occasionally treating me!
I wouldn’t date someone seriously who didn’t have career prospects or a decent job (unless there was a good reason or it was a temporary blip). I might still meet them for fun or in a friends with benefit situation but I wouldn’t see them as a long term partner.
I live in a very expensive city and it would be too hard to support someone else on my salary and I want someone I can enjoy life with rather than penny pinching on the breadline.
I care about my partner’s job because money is important, unfortunately. I care about my partner having goals and ambitions. It just so happens I make a pretty decent living in LA and my partner does about 4x better than I do, but we are constantly inspiring each other and moving forward together.
He doesn’t just sit and talk about what he wants to, he tries to achieve his goal as best as possible. Same with me.
With that said, I don’t mind dating someone, if my partner and I break up, who makes less than me but they need to be able to support themselves, and if we want to go on vacation, we can do that with little strain.
I don’t believe you can really divorce the financial aspect from relationships.
I’m a guy, literally don’t care what the girl does for work so long as they are not travelling 24/7 without me
I care, most guys I’ve dated have similar professions as me. We can discuss many things without feeling confusion, and also help each other out so it makes us more ambitious for our career goals too.
Is it legal? Do you make enough that you can support yourself without a girlfriend, your mom, or the government? If so I think you’re good. Because I’m younger, not a hypocrite, and not on my feet myself yet I’d be ok with a guy who is still working towards financial independence, but at 32 it will make things easier if you’re already there.
Ambition and passion are what matter to me. That can be in the context of work or not. I do want my partner to be intellectual and educated, but “job title” doesn’t matter. If you are working in a field that awards you success and work/life balance but it’s not your dream job, totally cool. As long as you channel that ambition and passion somewhere and you don’t settle (I can’t stand when people lament about hating their jobs but do nothing to change it), then great.
tl;dr — your work life sounds super interesting and it definitely sounds like an asset. Just be sure you don’t rely on it as your only asset. I can relate to being a “black sheep”. I try to not talk about work too much unless prompted on dates, and similarly with how much I ask about their job. However, if they want to tell me about it and are excited/interesting then that’s awesome!