What are your thoughts on it? We’ve all done it. I’m guilty of doing it in the past. Sometimes I slip up and do it, though I’m working on it.
I think it should be avoided as it tends to be annoying or inappropriate if someone is not asking for advice. Sometimes it’s well meaning, but not everyone will be receptive to it. If you must, then observe the other person before you do. Are they angry at the moment? Not a good idea to give unsolicited advice then. They can take their anger out on you. Are they upset or depressed? Probably not a good idea either. It’s better to just try and comfort the person and listen to them.
Best thing to do is ask the person if they want advice. How would you go about it? How would you handle someone giving you advice you didn’t ask for, that was more annoying than helpful?
4 comments
Never give advice in an emotionally charged moment. In a day or two “hey, I thought about your situation. I may have some insights, are you open to hearing them”
I think about this a lot, I always ask my friends & fam when they are confiding in me if they want my advice before i say anything. I am the “therapist friend” so I get a lot of people coming at me w their problems. I’ve learned It’s best to just be upfront and ask what the person wants from you (in a kind way ofc) when they are sharing things with you. Most of the time, people just want to have someone who will hear them out & give them sympathy. It feels so much better to tell someone something, have your feelings validated and then just leave it at that.
When it is the other way around and I am venting to someone, I have to remind myself that when someone gives me unsolicited advice, they truly believe they are helping me. Even though it can be annoying at times, (and sometimes god awful advice) that person genuinely in their heart is trying to help me by giving their advice, even when i didn’t ask. Always remember you don’t have to take the advice, you don’t even have to listen to a word they say. Say instead, thanks but I am not looking for advice.. I just needed to get that off my chest. And their attitude will change from trying to be a problem solver and giving instruction to simply showing empathy in whatever it is you said to them.
i would just ignore their advice, if it really bothers you can say tell them that you rather vent than get advice
I think it all comes down to boundaries. SO MUCH in life does. I’m older, but sadly I didn’t start learning about boundaries until maybe 3-5 years ago – it wasn’t talked about much years ago. As I began learning about boundaries, I realized I had both disrespected other people’s boundaries, and allowed others to disrespect and disregard *my* boundaries.
The more I learned about boundaries, the more I stopped giving and accepting unsolicited advice. I try very hard to keep my unasked for opinions to myself, and I tell people that I don’t accept unsolicited advice. And I have become very selective on who’s advice I seek these days anyway, people give *horrible* advice. There’s maybe three people I’ll ask advice from.