I am seeing this issue happen a lot in my life where I can be in a group of 5+ people and if there is just one person in that group that I don’t like or who I feel isn’t a nice/good person, I feel like I can not enjoy the experience entirely. For example, my friend’s (F,24) birthday is coming up and we were going to go out of town as a group and I was super stoked, then she told me she is inviting someone who I find to be extremely judgmental and quite selfish. My head then spiraled into thinking now it is not even worth going because they will be there. Outwardly I am able to be mature and get along with these kinds of people and I don’t show my disliking for them, but inwards I feel like their presence completely kills my vibe and makes me prefer to be on my own altogether. It seems like other people don’t feel as intensely about these kinds of situations and I am wondering how to better enjoy myself and adjust to being around people I find mean/unpleasant because obviously it is not something that can be avoided.
TL;DR: My entire mood and experience gets thrown off when I am subjected to being around someone I dislike.
2 comments
You are letting their existence control and dictate your life. Try to understand why you don’t like this person and either ignore them or confront them.
It comes down to how much you let other people or things control your behavior and emotions. You can make a decision and agreement with yourself that you won’t let other people bring you down. I used to be very emotional over every little thing someone said or did or something that happened because I picked it up from my mom that has pretty bad social anxieties. She will sit up all night if she thinks someone looked at her wrong. I realized pretty young that she was worried a Nothing a lot of the time and realized the extreme negative effect this trait has on her happiness and mental health. It’s exhausting to live that way.
So one day I just decided I wasn’t going to be like her and do that anymore. Weirdly, it worked. I don’t care how other people behave. I personally can’t even be bullied by anyone because I’ll just be like “wtf, ok, that person’s weird/mean, Oh well.” And move on.
At the end of the day I guess it’s a confidence and power thing. How much confidence do you have in yourself and how much power do you voluntarily give to other people.