Hi, I recently bought my first dildo. I figured it might be a little difficult to get in the first time, but I couldn’t fit it in past the tip *at all*. Whenever I tried, it was painful to the point where I had to stop. I’ve tried to use it several times since then with varying conditions (more lube, different angles/positioning, etc.) but to no avail. A couple of times that was due to anxiety but more often than not I’ve been perfectly relaxed and aroused. I don’t get very wet naturally but I also use *tons* of lube each time so I don’t think that’s the issue. I don’t think it’s anything like vaginismus either, I’ve used tampons in the past and can fit two fingers in with relative ease. The toy is only 1.3″ wide so I feel like I should be able to use it but I just can’t and I don’t know why. I’m just desperate for any tips or things that I might be overlooking that would help.
4 comments
Start with one that’s a bit smaller diameter.
Have you ever had PIV sex? How did that go?
My wife can’t even go to the obgyn. I don’t mean this the way it’s sounds AT ALL but her body clenches up and won’t take anything in other than my dick. Not even my finger. Toys hurt. She won’t use them. Not sure why. Have you been with someone before
Experiment with your fingers and play with floor muscles to see how you vagina tightens and relaxes. Try two things during this fingerings session. First push out like you would when making poop. This actually can allow wider things in. Try clenched your kegals until exhaustion. Then relax and notice how relaxed your vagina is. If it isn’t repeated clenching to exhaustion and relaxing until you notice a difference.
Then try your toy.
A 1.3 inch diameter seems like a reasonable sized based on using tampons and being able to insert a couple of fingers. Just take your time.
Btw – Good choice using lots of lube.
Might need to see a pelvic floor therapist or get a pelvic dilator set. I would probably talk to my OBGYN though, just in case it’s a warning sign of Vaginismus or Endometriosis.