Those who are married and have more than 1 kid, How did you guys conclude you need 2nd child ?

16 comments

1. [deleted]

2. My kids are almost 5 years apart. They are different enough in age to not overlap like friends but not so far where they fight too much (yet). We were financially ok at the time too and still are fortunately though we live in a HCOL area (SoCal).

   One of the main factor for our decision is that I am an only child and it was ok growing up but it slowly shows the disadvantages as I got older. The subject that I am facing is my aging parents where I will essentially face it alone when it’s time for my parents to pass. The thought of it sucks terribly and I do not want that for my children to undergo alone. Another example I noticed is through my wife as she has 2 siblings so they increased their network through each other.

3. Was always the plan. Once a woman hits 35 the risk of complications and mental disabilities for the child increase and so we planned all three of ours out. They’re all exactly two and a half years apart. My wife had enough complications during her pregnancies that we didn’t want to hit that 35 year mark. Doctor said she shouldn’t have any more or it will really put her health at risk so three is it. Our youngest turns one soon and my wife will be 35 next year

   Edit: also, kids become cheaper as you have more. Items and clothes can get reused. I shop sales and buy in bulk. We are a single income family of 5 and my wages are not the best and we live comfortably enough

4. 1st child needs a sibling

5. There’s a saying that the first child is for the parents and the second child is for the first child and I think that’s true. Didn’t want the first to be lonely.

   Also to be 100% honest IME only children tend to be a little….different. So I didn’t want that.

   Mine are three years apart and in hindsight would have liked them closer to two years apart but also the first baby was rough and we were broke so I know why we waited. The second was a lot easier and that’s some part random chance and some parts being a better parent this time around.

6. I’m pregnant with the 2nd right now and my first is 8. We wanted the first baby to have a sibling to grow up with and someone to have when we are no longer around.

7. We wanted to fill out the table at the restaurant.

8. If you’re not sure that you’re ready then it’s not the right time yet.

9. 1. For the sanity of your first child. I’m sure you are are great parents, but you are completely focused on the child. Children do not want or need that much attention. You likely are driving him/her insane.
   2. For the sake of your first child. It would be lonely to go through life without being able to call someone up and say, “Our parents are sooooo f*ed up.”
   3. Each child is different. It’s amazing. Each is fun and unique.

10. The wife let me know.

11. Always have a backup plan. Two kids can keep each other entertained. Also they can help each other as they enter into the school system and beyond. If they are the same gender they can share more. A single child tends to get spoiled and regrets not having a baby brother or sister as they grow older.

12. Hey man, join us over at r/oneanddone . We are not sure if I’d like having a second one. For that reason, we won’t be having another. Growing up, I always thought I’d have 2 kids. Turns out 1 is best for me.

13. It was always the plan 🤷‍♂️ my wife and I both knew we wanted more than 1.

14. Because you always screw up the first one, like making pancakes.

15. My wife was an only child, I was the youngest of 7. She fell in love with how well my siblings and I got along at The first thanksgiving she spent with me. Made her decide she wanted at least two, maybe three kids. Well we had one then three years later we had twins.

16. No one “needs” a child..

    Seems to me the question you need to answer is, do want another and what are you prepared to sacrifice (financially) if the answer is “yes”