Ok, Hi everyone. 25 yo guy here. Long story short, I was the odd one out in school between the age of 9 and 15, and this totally changed my perception of social activities/events. The mockery I got back then made me start to believe that I was the problem and that the default attitude everyone (especially of my age or younger) would have towards me, would be negative.
If I’m honest, high school was really better but I dropped out of university three times because of the fact I was feeling inadequate/unconfident. My mom’s multiple sclerosis also got more difficult for her to handle, so I spent most of the time helping her too.
I joined uni back this year, and started last week.
Basically my limiting beliefs are that everyone would dislike me cos:
1. They’d think I’m too hung up/serious/nerdy/uncool/trying hard to be “intellectual”
2. They’d think I’m too weak/shy/submissive
Sometimes those self limiting beliefs contradict each other. But I result is the same: I feel inferior to people.
But, how do I finally forget those limiting beliefs and act the I way I want to ? With the people I feel no threat to talk to, I’m actually really talkative and anything, but shy.
Should I force myself to talk anyone I wanna talk to without second guessing it ? Without giving a shit about how they would perceive me ?
Should I try to find ” my tribe” first (I love music, I write songs, I’m also very interested on paitings/movies and I love doing photographies, especially landscapes) so that I can meet new people and start feeling more confident with everyone else ?
Thanks !
3 comments
Sounds like you have social anxiety disorder, look it up. Focus on getting more social exposure by going outside and speaking to staff in stores. Do it as often as you can and slowly step up the difficulty; have longer convos, speak about something sensitive. You can make the stuff up, but you need to put yourself outside of your comfort zone.
>Should I force myself to talk anyone I wanna talk to without second guessing it ? Without giving a shit about how they would perceive me ?
Yes. You don’t get rid of self limiting thoughts, you get better at not listening to them
I used to be you. And it all flipped on its head when I went from “theres something everyone knows that I dont” to “I know things others dont”. That thing you know is your own take on life, passion, and how you hold yourself against others. That all comes through experience. Whether its finding your tribe, or NGAF, or whatever. Take a path. Experience it. See if its you. Theres no right answer someone else can give you. But you’ll find one for yourself as you walk the path.