I have been ruining my wife’s life for almost ten years, six in the official form. To make matters worse, we have mutual children.
What’s wrong with me? Everything. There is not a single quality I have, not a single deed I can make a positive impact by. So far I am employed, but on the edge of being fired any day; but the fact is that I am unemployable as I am useless and have no skills. This is also manifested in the household as there is nothing I can do, much less do without damage to appliances, furniture or harm to people.
So you see, I am not fun to be with. I am an absolute burden. I have also considered the ultimate solution, but there is this life insurance policy and and also near certainty of failing (there is nothing I can do right). Everyone knows I am a burden, so divorce appears as the simplest and quickes solution to get rid of me at least in the marital sense.
Before you suggest therapy, I have found out that I am incompatible with every approach there exists and I am not going to deceive myself anymore as the truth is clear to everyone.
12 comments
My dude. What you are describing is quite literally impossible. I have never heard of, let alone met, someone who is as useless as you are describing.
The only people I have ever head talk like this are experiencing a serious clinical-level depression, often after coming off a bender of some kind. If you’re drinking, you should stop immediately, and either way you should see a doctor as soon as possible.
Remember, one of the few advantages of feeling this low is that better days are certainly ahead, even if you can’t see them from where are you.
Is that what your wife told you?
Is this your noble way of freeing her from you bc you’re like this? Thus it’ll allow her to pursue someone more compatible with her?
You’re not the worst human by any measure, you’re not unemployable nor useless, what you are is seriously depressed and in need of antidepressants. Please get help today.
Jesus, what a pity party. It sounds like you are using this self-flagellation as a shield from responsibility. Like, you think that if you insist that you are the worst human ever, that absolves you from any responsibility because it is just your nature, not your choice. Like, this:
> This is also manifested in the household as there is nothing I can do, much less do without damage to appliances, furniture or harm to people.
Are you *truly* saying that you are innately incapable of doing household chores without causing damage to objects or people? Like, that is ridiculous.
> I have found out that I am incompatible with every approach there exists
Buddy, I’m willing to bet literally everything I have that you have not explored every option regarding therapy.
Hey OP, at first I was thinking this was sarcasm – like these were the emotionally abusive messages being sent to you by your spouse that you were parodying…but that last sentence changed my mind.
I do suggest therapy. I don’t know your history or why you think it is not helpful, but I hope you can find a therapy experience that is helpful.
You are worthy of happiness. You are not worthless. I am sorry for what you are going through right now. There is a way to a better life. It might include divorce. Don’t give up.
I was in a similar place at one point in my life, probably lasted 2-3 years give or take. There was a LOT of pain for a long time.
Today, that pain is a memory. I have grown in so many ways. I am happy now, I really like myself. I have found others that really like me too. The journey to getting here was worth it. I want for you to get to this place too.
TRT
So – get better.
Head over to r/Daddit for some encouragement when you need it. Everyone struggles. We all handle it differently. Apparently I make it look like I have it together, but we have like $10 in the bank. 🤷🏼♂️
Weaponized incompetence. “if I suck at everything, nobody will ask me to do anything and I can justify never learning”
Find what you need to improve and improve those things.
The shit you’re saying just sounds like depression talking, I hear it all the time. My wife sometimes gets depressed and anxious and starts acting like she can’t do anything right and will believe that she’s useless to the people around her, but she’s like the smartest woman I’ve ever known and has far more drive than I’ll ever have. She will sit there acting like she’s useless while being a better mother and wife than anybody we know all while going to school for her second degree and fucking excelling at it.
Our entire family unit and half her actual family would fall apart without her. All while I’m over here trying to play catch up so I don’t look like a lazy asshole.
What do you do all day. Like walk me through what happens from when you wake up, through to when you go to sleep. I’m willing to bet that you’re highlighting the worst and ignoring the good.
I just looked at your profile, you have been posting like this, countless times, for two years. What exactly are you looking for from this thread?
Hypnotherapy? Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz? Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispenza? Alternative therapies such as medically supervised treatment with psychedelics? TMS? Have you looked into those?
You are trapped in a loop of self-defeat and negative self image. You need something to break the loop and help your brain heal and reprogram to a new self image and way of seeing yourself and the world. This might be too long of a process through talk therapy because the loop has been reinforced for too long, so I’m wondering if something done via meditation or hypnosis could cut through the loop?