I’m Freaking Out ™️
My (f22) husband of 2 years (m23) is on a business trip. While texting he just asked me to dress sexier at night and that he hates the regular shorts and tanks I wear to bed.
We have a good sex life and enjoy each other’s company. I had always suspected he wanted me to wear bolder lingerie to bed but I wasn’t comfortable and he didn’t force it. But when he requested me to dress sexier, all the way from Dubai while randomly chatting about my day, it somehow really impacted my head.
I just ordered a hundred dollars worth of sexy lingerie after asking him what kind he’d like. He said REVEALING and short things like corsets and stuff made of net which basically barely covers anything.
I’m uncomfortable yet excited.
My problem is how to be confident in such things?! How to BE sexy when I’ve dressed sexy? I’ve always known that I’m conventionally attractive and that I do turn him on most nights. But I’m so uncomfortable and under-confident in such lingerie… to the extent of being scared of wearing them even after having bought them, and being genuinely clueless about how a woman can truly BE sexy in her approach.
Please help!
31 comments
One thing that I do which helps me is to create a character that is confident in the outfit. The more complex of a character the better. Then act as this new confident character.
Once you see your husband’s reaction you be able to slide back to yourself.
Good luck!
It’s just practice, also you can do sexy photoshoots together if you feel comfortable doing that, it can be really validating seeing yourself like that.
Lucky husband!!
have you ever worn a halloween costume? did you feel confident or insecure?
its kind of a nutty example but still valid. You can approach it as a sexual costume, decor for your body. it just happens to exudes sexuality.
and as a bonus your man gets turned on by it.
You might try that approach
Relax. He just couldnt do it face to face.
When he gets home you will try out the lingerie.
You will be fine
practice wearing it at home alone! that way it becomes less foreign to you. Also, you can take nudes in them to send as a teaser
Start wearing it and walking around your home in it doing everyday stuff to get used it. Get a black silk robe to wear over top and let him “unwrap” it to see what’s underneath. Baby steps into this. Have fun!
Here’s the thing about clothes.
Some clothes are worn for comfort and protection.
Some clothes are worn for a purpose.
Naked is just being without clothes.
But when a woman is wearing “lingerie”, she’s signalling that she *wants* sex, and *wants to be an active participant*.
She’s signalling, to be crass about it, that’s she’s hot for dick and wants to get fucked. At minimum. Depending on what you’re wearing, and what he’s into, it may signal other sorts of games.
So when you get the lingerie, and have some alone time, put it on and look at yourself in the mirror. Then start to think about, to fantasize about, what you will do to him and what you want him to do to you. Don’t draw lines, just let it your mind go. Go ahead and rub one out at that point.
Also picture what HE should be wearing. After all, turnabout is fair play.
Also ask him what toys he’d like to add. It can add a LOT to the experience.
Take photos of just part of the lingerie, then random shots showing just part of it on you, build his anticipation. Wear it around the house while you’re doing laundry, listen to your favorite music, get comfy in your own skin. This is when your second life begins 🎉
Sexy is an attitude not an appearance
Just be you. No need to *do* anything differently in the lingerie, he will be turned on just seeing you in it. Pretend you’re in your shorts and tanks and the only thing that will be different is that his cock will spring to attention a little faster and he might cum a little quicker!
What if that’s your way? Maybe when you put on the super sexy stuff, throw a housecoat over it. Every slip of the coat that reveals what’s underneath makes you blush 😊 have fun!
Be selfish, make your enjoyment a priority, if you enjoy wearing cute sexy outfits then own it, don’t dimish your enjoyment by saying stuff like “I feel silly” for example.
Sex isn’t just about hubby and his enjoyment, it’s about yours too. Be expressive of what you want, what you want to do to him, what you want from him – he’s telling you.
It helps if you have a partner that is supportive and enthusiastically into you sexually.
Did he actually *tell* you to “act sexier,” or is that your interpretation? If he did, I don’t think that is a respectful approach. He can ask you to do/wear whatever, but he should also be open to (a) you not being ready yet, and (b) doing whatever he can to *help* you to feel confident in this sexy role.
Anyway, as a first step you could try putting on the lingerie and getting into bed and maybe even pulling up the covers before he comes in. Then you can gradually uncover yourself for him to discover what you’re wearing.
The only secret there is about being sexy in lingerie is self confidence.
Use that lingerie as a tool for empowering!! maybe you’re too fixated on that little roll, or the cellulite or whatever. we all have those! and truth is, he probably doesn’t notice them or care as much as you do, so stop fixating on them and look at the gorgeous woman in front of the mirror. He already knows your body, so no need to be hiding behind whatever makes you feel safer, your a goddess and would look stunning in whatever you decide to wear. He married you, he loves you and of course he sees you as hot, so be confident in that!
I was in a similar situation. Turns out that text was for another woman.
Just be you my wife started wearing it when we where 2 years into dating and she felt awkward and looked a little dorky in a cute way sexy af but she was so awkward that it was just the sexiest dorkiest thing ever. But after a few rounds she actually loved it she asked me to buy her some on my way home from work to surprise her with something I wonna see in her it’s super fun (P.S. we live in a small town with basically just a Walmart so that’s why I swing by the mall in the city’s I work in and buy it for her it’s just easier for us)
Your husband was definitely with an escort when he sent that shit
Could he be seeking for you to have more self-esteem in a different way?
My GF put on sexy black lingerie with access down there, and then pretended to be asleep on the lounge when I got home from work.
That worked.
Wow my x husband was just as bad maybe worse
Go out with a girlfriend in the the most sensual outfit you have, and send him a pic of it saying “wish you were here”
Ÿou will feel sexy the moment you realize he think you are sexy, to quote my wife whome I once munster my curage and asked to wear lingrie for me in bed. If he have requested lingerie or some sexy clothings for you to wear I will guarante that you will be sexy in his eyes.
Maybe get comfortable wearing them while he’s away? There’s little worse than feeling uncomfortable in your costume while trying to feel sexy for your man
And what is he doing to be sexy when you go to bed?
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
You won’t feel confident when you wear it the first time.
Embrace the awkwardness and keep wearing it.
But, all that aside, how did your husband bring this up? Is he demanding that you wear this?
Because you could demand the same thing you know. See him in a corset and rocking some platform heels. He doesn’t get to make bedroom demands that he’s not willing to do himself.
It’s like the guys who demand amal but aren’t willing to get pegged and railed themselves.
Don’t fall for that!
Well honestly, don’t wear something you don’t feel beautiful in. That’s what makes you sexy to him, when you feel it and radiate it. Maybe look around for sexy, silky, lacey stuff you like and start there. Explore your sexy side, your femininity a little deeper and find your way in it. Gain the confidence! If you don’t do this, you will resent your husband along the way for trying to make you something you are not comfortable with.
Is it me or is it weird to ask this on a business trip…?
I’m surprised most of these comments are just… going along with this?
Look, it’s great to wear lingerie if it’s what you want to do, and there’s also nothing wrong with your husband requesting it. But I get some really weird vibes from how this went down.
Some people have already flagged that it’s weird he did this on a business trip. But something about how he said he ‘hates’ the (perfectly normal) stuff you usually wear to bed is setting alarm bells off for me. Maybe it’s just how you phrased it, but it sounds like he expects you to be constantly ‘on’ and performing for him. And that’s both a) unrealistic (it’s normal to want to just be comfy some/most of the time and you should be allowed that) and b) unfair (is he going to perform sexiness for you every night as well, or is this just one way?)
So yeah, try lingerie if *you* want to, and have fun. But don’t feel you have to do it every night if you don’t want to. And don’t let him make you feel ashamed on nights you just want comfy pajamas. You’re a person with your own needs, not a sex doll.
I had boyfriends who used to say these things to me, but it wasn’t something I wanted to do. It was only to please him. Not me.
Same thing does for a blowjob IMO. The men who push your head into their lap. Well, if I wanted to, I would.
I’ve found I didn’t want to do either of these things once a partner made me feel like me, as is, wasn’t sexy enough. Way to kill the mood!
I now have a partner who loves me as I am. And guess what? I enthusiastically buy and wear very sexy lingerie and I want to swallow his cum every time we are together. Usually wearing lingerie that blows his mind.
Because I want to.
It’s really so simple.
As a single lesbian this is nuts. if i had a woman in my bed every night i’d be stoked and not give a shit. how does he not find you in a tank top and shorts sexy? shouldn’t you want your partner to be comfortable at night and not feel like they have to perform/wear a costume? i really hope he doesn’t expect this regularly. isn’t part of the allure of lingerie that it’s special?
If he wants you to dress so sexy he should be the one dishing out the money for it because lingerie is not cheap, and low quality ones are not comfortable enough to sleep in. I hope he is respecting you as a real person and not just expecting you to preform and act as eye candy 24/7