I’m not and never have been confident, no matter how many years I’ve “worked on myself”.
Not only that, but I’m very introverted and rarely talk to people. It’s not like I can’t hold a conversation and avoid eye contact, but I’m just really quiet/introverted and rarely talk. When I do, I usually just do small talk and ask about the other person. Unless I’m friends w/ them and comfortable, then I can babble on endlessly.
I’ve never been on a date b4 or had a girl like me, and feel that I never will. I believe girls only want a guy who is confident and alpha, who is fun and exciting for them to be around. My evidence is from what girls say themselves on here and from surveys. It seems they overwhelmingly prefer guys who are confident and outgoing- whether they’re themselves shy or not.
Not somebody like me who prefers to stay home then socialize, and only gets comfortable w/ people after getting to know them. Also, even the shy girls who do like introverts want them to approach them and be confident. So still not me, who is shy and not confident.
Maybe if I was hot they wouldn’t mind me being shy, but unfortunately I’m not.
So what do girls really think? Is it true no girl could possibly find me attractive. Am I really going to die alone like I believe or am I stuck in my own head?
Thank you for any response
3 comments
[deleted]
>I believe girls only want a guy who is confident and alpha, who is fun and exciting for them to be around.
That’s simply not true. As a teen and 20 year old I was very shy and I still had girls interested in me unfortunately I was too shy to engage them.
I was just like you; I ultimately met a girl who grew up in Poland and, having met me in NYC (and now a U.S. citizen), she made the first move. It was *she* who approached *me*. I mention she was from Poland because you may find that a girl from a different culture, or of a different nationality, brings a different and welcome dynamic to bear. This long-term girlfriend was born and raised in Poland; my wife, born and raised in Germany. My best friend (male) is French-born. The only other two girls I was intimate with had, though American raised, a dual heritage and were bilingual (one in Greek, the other in Hebrew). I never intended the pattern of my closest relationships to play out in that way. In the case of my Polish-born girlfriend, she said that she *liked* shy men, and she did have quite a dominant personality. She grew up behind the Iron Curtain, a Soviet-controlled Eastern bloc nation; a friend of hers used to tease her with the Rocky IV quote “I must break you.” Because she was *that* tough. And she distinctly liked soft-spoken men.