Okay… so sometimes my work does what’s called “team building activities”. Ummm the first plan I wanted to attend but I didn’t … I know one of my coworkers invited at least one person, but it may have been more. I let it go. I’m pretty sure I had to fill in for the lady who made the invites for that first event. I mean whatever… I let it go. Anyway … once again they’re doing something I would want to do and I have yet to receive an invite :/ this same coworker is inviting someone who is newer than I though. I first heard about this plan as I entered a meeting, it was midconvo, so whatever. Maybe, I missed it. However, I walked passed her as she invited a brand new coworker and not me :/ my excuse at first was that it was because I was new. There would also be times where they would all stop somewhere together and as they left as a group they saw me on my way to the same place alone. Ummm … why do I keep getting excluded? I know my coworkers recognize me for my work. I don’t think I come off as threatening. Just a little quiet. They say nice things to me and seem supportive … but why am I constantly excluded? We are in a small department too :/ not the mention the first plan I was excluded from I showed an interest in. Why are they like this? It’s just weird that the coworker who asked to support me through other things also excludes me … but everyone seems to. Why? :/
13 comments
It’s because your quiet. People want to be entertained. I think it’s nice that you didn’t go. If they do invite you to anything stay on your toes. Might want to get something out of you.
Create your own fun. Find friends outside of work, and make your own teambuilding events. Your coworkers don’t have to be your friends, and that’s ok.
You can ask your coworkers, but I think they would be mean or not truthful about it. No in between, so you’re better off not thinking about it.
This happened to me and eventually i realized i just wasn’t fitting in and i found me a new job. It just sucks feeling like you aren’t good enough, itll eventually weigh on you, in fact, it seems as if it already is.
Screw them
I would have to say that it’s because you’re quiet – unfortunately, being “quiet” can be perceived by others as being “stand off-ish”, “snobby” or “stuck up” . So, my best advice for you is to be the one who says “Good Morning” or “Hello” first when you happen to pass one or more of them during the day. If they say the same in return, then it’s a good start. Try to put yourself out there the best way you can (in a way that’s comfortable for you), but don’t try too hard though. If it works- great; if it doesn’t- you didn’t lose anything. Just remember: you can’t please all the people all of the time.
Look, it’s very simple (unfortunately).
There’s extroverted and introverted people, but then there’s also socially adept and socially inept amongst both of these groups.
You can probably not change your introverted nature, but you can work on your social skills for people to appreciate you more when they realize that when you do open up, you’re very pleasant, engaging and fun to be around.
If you’re not those things (yet), it’s tough but can you really blame anyone for preferring fun people?
Say hi and stuff first. If nothing gives, who cares why be friends with people like that anyway? I would focus on building up confidence, it may come naturally this way
Sometimes people just aren’t going to like you I’ve dealt with this at different jobs as well sometimes they just don’t want to hang out with you don’t want to be social with you don’t want to invite you along and that’s kind of their right just cuz you work together doesn’t mean that you need to be included and the stuff that they do
It’s funny how everybody seems to think that everybody else needs to exclude them in the activities that they do. Sounds like you need to grow up a bit because this is not the way adults think
I think you need to show interest a bit more. My coworkers who don’t stand up and walk over to the group when a convo is forming are on a different level of comfort than the rest of us. Why not ask your coworkers, “hey did you sign up for x activity?” and make conversation from there.
I go through similar situations in my department. Everyone has different relationships within their work, and nobody is entitled to be invited to anything. Maybe you’re too quiet and nobody exerted the effort to get to know you – then you exert yourself and get to know THEM. This scenario is exactly why we have department events where everyone is invited, but on people days off, they can do whatever they want with whoever they want. People will either like or dislike you for literally no reason whatsoever.
Team building events are officially supposed to include every member, right? I’ve never worked at an office where a colleague is excluded, since it’s coming out of the department’s budget.
Did you turn down the first invite?
Sometimes when you say no people assume you will in the future. Try asking for an invite next time you’re aware.
If they say no it might suck but remember it’s their loss and at least now you know. Gives you the go ahead to find better people to hang out with!
Yep go find a new job I have a friend that just switches jobs or did when the wind blew she would just have an urge and just be like yeah I loved everything about it I just don’t want to be there lol like what I don’t get that I’m all about stability I crave it I have to have it I have to know that I have income coming in that’s like a necessity for me to feel safe and not like panic and freak out so ✊ you do you but don’t let a bunch of lamos that don’t want to invite you along fuck with your mind