Did you get to have friends over your house as a child? If not, do you think it had some effect on your social development?

How can you make friends if you don’t see them in a variety of situations, or do a variety of things with them?

I couldn’t have friends over my house when I was a kid. My parents were very particular about how nice and clean the house had to be. Even if my room was clean, the whole house had to be just so. And it never was up to their standard. And I suspect that not getting to have friends over kept me from opportunities to make close friends in whatever my “formative years” were.

There was a crossroads in my life where I could’ve developed an interest in hanging out with people, or I could’ve invested in other things. And I chose the latter due to “having friends” being unrealistic. Couldn’t really do much with them, what little time I could spend with them I spent more time developing solitary interests. I don’t know when that formative moment was/when a child is supposed to start developing social interests or face the point of no return, but whenever it is I feel like it was because I was basically discouraged from a “normal” childhood.

Today I wouldn’t know what to do with a friend if I had one. I see my co-workers having conversations that I’m not a part of and wondering what it is they could constantly be talking about, or what I would be expected to say if I was in this conversation. Do people come over to watch TV anymore? If so, what are you supposed to do? Sit there in awkward silence? I’m not “anxious” of social interaction. I just don’t understand it. The practical, day-to-day nuts and bolts of it. I don’t like that I’m like this, but “normalcy” is hard to teach. I was instead taught to be self-sufficient. That’s what I think.