So, a really close friend of mine invited me to her birthday party. We live very far away from each other and i’ve only seen her irl twice.
In a week i’ll have to go in her state to attend this party. The fact is that i don’t really know anyone there ( beside one person who i’ve talked to once).
It’s an important day for her and i’m glad to be a part of it, indeed i understand I can’t really stick to her the whole night since she will have to entertain other guests. That’s why i’m kinda worried. How do I start conversation with others since they have never seen me? How do I behave? What should I talk about? Should introduce myself ?
Usually i’m not socially anxious but this is stressin me out.
2 comments
Will there be a serve yourself bar there? Or a soft drinks station?
If so then once you’ve done the polite thing and hung out with your friend for a while, meander to the place where everyone will eventually find their way to. Be of service for a while, pour a drink, hand out beers and sodas. You’ll meet a lot of people and can choose to interact with them for as long or as briefly as you wish. You will be doing something helpful and time will fly by until you are ready to exit the soirée.
What is it specifically you’re worried about?
“Hi, I’m sad-chicken-nugget, I don’t think we’ve met” with a smile will do. Having a drink in your hand (doesn’t have to be alcohol) helps a lot of people with awkwardness.
In these situations people commonly ask each other how they know the host, whether you’re from around there, etc. etc.
But that’s the safe and “boring” way to hold conversations.
If you want to make the best out of the party, go in there looking forward to meeting new people, who you know must be cool people since they are friends of your friend’s.
If you get into a convo with someone who knows what they’re doing, you actually won’t need to do much, they’ll lead. Make sure to ask (ideally open) questions back and don’t give yes/no/other one-word-answers yourself either – tell them a bit about yourself when they ask.
A neat trick for your own mindset is to not treat these conversations as interviews but rather as “give me something, anything I can connect to so we can enjoy chatting about whatever we have in common”. So, for example if you say which town you’re from, touch on 1) food there, 2) sports there, 3) music or whatever else it might be known for and this way you increase the chances the other person can connect with something you said. This doesn’t need to be a long answer, you can keep it short.