My 3 closest friends. A girl and a couple. I’ve known the girl for decades. She’s “going through some shiiit” and hasn’t talked to me in weeks. I’d like to be there for her, but I’m not forcing it because whatever it is, it’s not about me.
The other 2 are a couple but they weren’t when we all met each other. They are from different countries. It used to be “We don’t get to see each other so we talk every chance we have.” Now they are in the same country living with one’s parents. Now it is them spending every moment together, and getting married for citizenship (to live together legally). So she is home all day (still doesn’t call me) and he’s either working or with her. I’m kinda tired of her gatekeeping him. Sorry but he’s the one I’m closest to, seeing as how we have more in common. And wherever I talk to him on the phone, he’s got her on speaker. Even with game chat (not that we even game together anymore). They’re getting married this weekend. I talked to her yesterday briefly, all she said was how they weren’t going to invite anyone because it’s a small thing, then listed the people who ARE invited, none of which are me. Why even tell me? It’s not like I asked.
I miss my individual friendships. Why do couples do that? I didn’t, not in the 10 years I’ve been with my guy. I’m trying to not take it personally, but I get bad feelings about all this.
2 comments
That’s tough. Unfortunately, I don’t think you can do much to get anything or anyone “back”. Couples can be/act very weird and quite often it’s not even something they have worked out (keeping in touch with exes, or hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex alone, etc.).
Your best bet is to communicate what has been bothering you in a fair, and friendly tone, but if nothing changes, you’re gonna have to let them be and whether they at some point change is then out of your control.
I think it’s natural to miss things we’ve had in the past, but it seems these friends have moved on to a great extent. You might be better off just appreciating the memories and then start building friendships for this next stage of your life.