Always assumed I shouldn’t be too forward but now realize a lot of women expect this by the first date.

45 comments

  3. Expecting is a big word but it’s not a rarity, from my own experience 1 in 3 end up having sex the first date, but I have to say that those who I do have sex with the first date I already had a connection with through texting/calling for a while so the ‘sex talk’ had already been going for a while.

    First date without previous contact for a while doesn’t result in sex that often, I would say again from my own experience 1 in 8.

  6. We expect men to want sex on the first date but we do not want to have sex on the first date.

    I prefer hugging but I will kiss on the first date on the cheek and that’s only if I’m attracted to him and want to see him again.

  7. I can usually tell within an hour or two of meeting someone if I’m interested in them that way; and if I am I ask (in a tactful way) at the end of the date if they’d like to. My accuracy is pretty good with the people I ask out in the first place, I don’t get too many surprise “Nos” from them and it’s equally uncommon that there’s so little chemistry that I’m not interested myself. There are some times when it’s a temporary “not yet” or a yes to making out but a no to sex; but strictly statistically speaking I’m most likely to put out on the first date.

  9. I used to a lot. But over time I realised I didn’t really want to sleep with people first date. So I started going a bit slower. It also mirrored going from more hook up type stuff to relationships.

    But yeah heard the phrase “if you were a real man you would…” on three dates in a row. It worked on me when younger but a bit older and more self confident… people pressuring me into sexual things I wasn’t ready for can fuck off.

  11. I’ve met a few alcoholics, one stalker, and I’m kind of done getting physical until I actually know somebody. I don’t want them thinking we have a connection that we don’t and then I learn about their drug problems or psychological problems. Much easier to break up if nothing ever happened to begin with.

  12. When single? Every single time.

    That used to be what I considered to be a natural end to any date. That, to me, was ‘a date‘.

    Even with my current longterm relationship, started with a hookup. I just liked that bed, so I’m still here!

    Nowadays though I would not be about that life. If you get a taste of a good LTR it would be hard to go back – everything’s better in LTR / love

  14. On actual dates about half the time. Tinder matches that come straight to the house prob 8 out of the last ten

  15. Read body language and inference. 95% of my first dates at least end with a kiss. I never have sex with a woman within the first two dates but I don’t judge them if they want to and it doesn’t affect whether I want to see them again or if I see them as a possible longterm partner. Some women want to try it out right away and that’s fine. They’re going to have to wait or find someone else. I’ve had a couple women get mad or wonder if they did something wrong but it’s just my personal boundaries.

  17. Never happened to me (m). I also think, that it’s not a good sign, when the first date ends in bed. Ok for the moment, but too easy. Could be just as easy for any other man to get to her.

  18. I did it once and it felt rushed to sleep on the first date.

    I need a certain level of emotional connection for that.

  19. My father gave me some of the best advise I ever got abut dating.

    He told me he never had a second date if she didn’t put out on the fist date. Now granted that is boomer logic that can’t 100% be applied to today’s dating scene, however if you try to play meek in the beginning and don’t at least go for the chance of a kiss, or more on the first date, that’s going to set a ton for the rest of the relationship.

    If that’s your kink, more power to you, if it isn’t then you got to be bold and at least try, just do so in a respectful way. If it doesn’t happen, maybe don’t pursue any further relationship.

  21. Weirdly learned in my 20s that if I didn’t escalate physical interest immediately, the young woman would interpret that as me not being interested at all (and moving on). So had the strange experience of usually being expected to go for sex following the first date if it went well and I liked her. Ran into a lot of problems trying to initially take things slow and genuinely get to know a girl before crossing those physical boundaries.

  23. You know tbh I haven’t really dated that much. I’ve tended to hang out and then hook up and then get in a relationship after continuing to hook up for a few weeks. But if we had a good time and I think we both like each other I’ll go in for a kiss at the end of a first date. It’s a good signal of “Let’s do this again” from both of us.

  24. Only if it’s been communicated that is what is wanted. Then it’s based on chemistry in person.

    Saying “a lot of women” isn’t really accurate. Some people want hookups, some people want relationships.

  25. When I was dating, about 50% ended with a kiss or even a make-out session. I never had sex on the first date, mainly because everytime I felt like that was on the table, I didn’t feel the spark during the date.

    Now, second date, yes…

  26. I don’t understand dates personally. I used to build rapport via texting then invite them to my place cause it’s where I’m most confortable (introverted). Ends up with sex every single time

  30. No kiss, no second date

    No sex by the third date, I start panicking what the hell is wrong with me that I’m so unfuckable

  32. It’s not an expectation for me, but I’m always going to make the attempt atleast. There’s a fine line between being too forward and making her think you’re not interested. In my experience, the women I’ve dated saw a lack of initiative in that regard to mean I didn’t find them attractive or that I was boring.

  34. I probably would kiss after a couple dates definitely wouldn’t sleep on the 1st date as I have to connection to her at that point.

  37. Personally I don’t like kissing on a first date (or even sex) and my reason is that I like to have some time to process how I feel about the person.

    I actually explicitly tell my dates that I don’t kiss on a first date and why. Some women really don’t respect that boundary because they think they are special and I find that to be a sign to not have a second date.

  38. Everyone’s gotta go with what’s comfortable for them and also read the situation.

    But from the guy who hosted First Date (remember that show from early 2000s?), Roger Lodge, he has seen a lot and his advice worked for me: If the date is going well and positive, go in for the kiss then tell her you had a great time. Leave it at that and go home. She’ll be thinking about you constantly.

  40. they expect you to make a move on the first date. It doesn’t have to be sex, but something.

  42. Not to be that guy but it seems like 100% of the time right now 😅🤷🏻‍♂️

    I haven’t really thought about that until now

  43. Never slept with someone on the first date, But I have kissed. It’s a vibe thing for the most part, every girl feels a little different about, and how much shes into you plays a major role in if she will be down with doing anything early on. If she isn’t sure about you or isn’t very attracted to you it’s probably better to wait

  44. 100% of the time if they’re into me. 0% of the time if there’s any doubt. /s

    Been on 8 different first dates in the last year. Only kissed/slept with 3 of them on the first date. Of those 3, 1 turned into a “situationship” and the other two did go further.

    You can tell though if they’re into you or not.

  45. 60% of my dates I have zero interest in ever seeing again, 20% I’m interested in but theyre not, 10% I’ll kiss on the first date, and 10% I’ll fuck.

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