Hi everyone, my boyfriends sister (24f) left her boyfriend (24m) yesterday. She had been with him for close to 4 months, but the things that happened in that time frame seem to have traumatized her.
When she first met him he was completely normal and a “good” guy. They moved in together not even 2 months after being together, which everyone in the family (except me & my bf) were really happy about. This guy has a track history of bad things with women and she also has a disability and I warned her that she should really get to know this guy before committing to him and moving in with him. Of course she didn’t listen to what we said and went ahead and moved into this guys apartment. Overtime the relationship seemed to be getting worse and worse to me. He wasn’t “dating” her and was expecting her to basically be his mom. He doesn’t own a vehicle and so he was using hers to get to and from work. He is also a heavy marijuana user and would smoke in her car and while he was even working.
Last week she had posted some concerning things onto social media (Snapchat & instagram) and so I reached out to check in on her. They had gotten into a huge fight because of another woman and they were having a screaming match at each other. And so I knew she wasn’t in a good place and I went over to check on her and she was very dismissive but did tell me everything that’s happened.
Well last night she texted my boyfriend and I said she needed us to come help her pack her things up and that she wanted to stay with us. She told us that he did in fact cheat on her with multiple women. This obviously broke her heart because she thought it was going to be different than this.
So my boyfriend and I picked her up and she was saying things that made me concerned for her safety and so we didn’t allow her to drive her car that evening. We got to our place and she ended up telling us that she hasn’t slept or eaten for the past 8 days. So we immediately got her food and set up a bed for her on our couch. We already have all of our dangerous things locked up for other reasons so we felt our home was the safest option for her.
It is now night 2 of this and I can tell she is not okay mentally. Unfortunately no one on his family really approves of therapy or seeking professional help and so trying to suggest to her that she need professional help is very challenging. I feel stuck because I truly care about her well being and safety and I’m concerned because she needs more help than we can offer her. She doesn’t want to move back to her parents until the weekend, but I think she needs mental health/crisis intervention. Also I should mention, the rest of the siblings and parents are aware of this but have not been checking in with her frequently enough in my opinion. And so I feel like we are the only ones helping her and it sucks.
I guess overall, I just don’t know how to address to her needing professional help for this abusive situation. And I’m struggling to tell her she needs professional help. Any tips or advice is really appreciated. TIA.
Tl;dr: bfs sister was cheated on and was in a manipulative relationship. She is now staying with us and I’m concerned about her mental health