TLDR at the bottom. Throwaway account.
Sorry if this is the wrong sub to post in or if my writing is off, english is my third language and I’m anxious about my situation.
Hi everyone,
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years, living together for the past 2. We are in a very happy, healthy relationship where we always talk to each other about everything and solve/compromise on any issues we’ve had. My bf is very kind, caring, and funny and I know he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We are both very loving to one another and both prefer a lot of physical affection. So we constantly touch, hug, kiss, and cuddle multiple times throughout the day. If it matters, our sex life is awesome as well, we both give and take equally and can discuss anything and everything in that department.
The problem now is that I recently read a post about a woman looking up her bf’s search history, and found that he had been looking at porn of women who didn’t look anything like her. I’ve never looked through my bf’s phone or computer without permission. We both don’t have any problem handing each other our phones if we need to look something up or whatever, so we’ve never had any trust or jealousy issues. However, after reading that post, curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know what kind of porn my bf was watching.
So I looked through his history from this past week on his computer while he was at work. I know I shouldn’t have done that, and it’s the first and only time I ever will. Anyway, what I found has gotten me really confused and worried. He seems to be watching porn about 2-3 times a week and all of his searches exclusively consist of things like ”small”, ”tiny”, ”teen”, ”superskinny”, ”small tits”, ”flat chest”, etc. And upon clicking some of these links, it indeed is very skinny small women with very small chests and completely flat stomachs.
The reason I’m so confused and nervous and upset is because he has expressed to me on multiple occations that he’s not at all turned on by women who are this skinny. My bf is basically obsessed with my body and shows me that through his actions everyday. I am short, 154 cm with a very curvy body. My weight is average for my height but I have a big butt, small waist and large chest which he goes CRAZY for. He always says how he loves my thick thighs, my butt, how he loves drowning his face in my boobs (lol), etc. And as mentioned, he is constantly all over my body, he even loves the fact that my stomach isn’t flat and that I have cellulite. He’s always grabbing me, touching me, and kissing me in all of those places. So I don’t understand why the ONLY porn he seems to be getting off to is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what he has said he is attracted to. Not only that, but he’s never even dated women who weigh anything less than average.
He is so wonderful in every single way but now I feel incredibly insecure, even though I know how much he loves me and my body. I just feel like crying and I don’t know if I should bring this up with him or just forget about it. Am I reading too much into this? Is this normal? Any advice, especially from men? Thank you…
EDIT: I really appreciate a lot of your responses. You have pretty much assured me that he is so happy and fulfilled with me being the girl of his dreams (which he also always says) that he doesn’t need anybody else with the same body type when it comes to porn. I already knew this but let the negative voices win. I’m gonna let this go and continue to be happy with the wonderful man that he his. Thank you!
TLDR: My bf only watches porn of skinny, petite, small chested women but has always expressed to me how he’s never been attracted to that and always has been attracted to/only been with curvy women with a larger butt and boobs, like me. I’m confused and worried. Any advice?
9 comments
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I am exactly the same as him…literally the same. No need to worry. He is crazy about you and your thick sexy body.
Could be that he really likes skinny. Thats the easy answer. So are you going to ask him about and destroy his trust in you? Or are you going to move on…
He has a thick curvy woman. So not much need to search it . In this world you always want what you don’t have. Sadly. And porn destroys everything . Also if he really liked skinny he would be with a skinny chick.
I am a woman, so I’m not sure if you’re interested in mh perspective here (it’s understandable if you mostly want to hear from men). But Look at it this way… he is SO satisfied by your body in representing his attraction to thick curvy women, that he really doesn’t need porn to supplement that. So porn is just a place where he can fantasize about other things. It doesn’t mean he is actively attracted to or prefers skinny women for relationships, it could just be something about it turns him on sexually in the moment. I know that I personally have watched and sought out porn that doesn’t represent what I would want in real life. It’s just fantasy. I am sure it’s the same for him.
I am sorry about how upsetting this is though. I am a thicker woman and it would hurt me too. I think since you have so much evidence of his attraction to you, try not to let this harm your confidence too much ❤️
I’ve been there before. There’s nothing wrong with you. Sometimes we just want what we currently don’t have at that moment.
Example:
I was in a relationship with a girl who had smaller boobs and a fat ass. My porn would be bigger boobs.
After that, my next relationship was a girl with bigger boobs, and my porn was girls with smaller boobs and bigger butts.
It’s just different. There’s nothing wrong and there’s nothing that you’re doing wrong. So please don’t take it that way at all.
My gf has awesome hips and amazing big tits.
Any porn with the same type is lackluster to me because my mind will go *my gf got better assets anyway.*
It is ok , he just wants some variety. I prefer curvy women in general but sometimes I get aroused by skinny ones , I don’t know why. But then I return to my regular “type”. If your sex life is ok , I don’t see a huge problem in it. He won’t be dating you if he wasn’t into your body type.
I love watching action movies, nothing is more exciting than a fast paced gun fight…….but I never want to be involved in a real gun fight, and have no interest outside entertainment of it ….same goes for porn, i watch lots of different types, it’s entertainment, doesn’t mean that’s all i want or what i want in real life, it’s just something i like visual of