What did you learn the hard way?

24 comments

  4. I’m learning one rn. I have been fucking around for so long but now I am 24 and starting to realize how it’s not cute anymore. Friends will slowly start distancing themselves when they have tried too long to make you stop over partying and fighting with your bosses. You reach a point where you can’t ask for help anymore cuz it’s too embarrassing. All the issues I have that I ignored are becoming too heavy and I’m realizing I can’t just drink these feelings away.

    I feel like I am on a cross road rn, either man up and fix my shit, or I’m looking at a one shit show of a life.

  6. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Pure wishful thinking had me going back to selfish people whom I believed were more decent than they were.

    Edit: Punctuation.

  7. Oftentimes, you’re better alone than in the company of so-called “friends”

    Just because you spend a lot of time around somebody, or speak to them regularly, does not necessarily make them a friend. Some so-called friends are just enemies who stab you in the front instead of the back.

  10. Women don’t just come and go, and you won’t know what you had until you’ve lost it for good.

  11. There is nothing to be gained from being right. If someone is wrong, just let them be wrong, because at the end of the day, they’ll still be wrong and you’ll be getting yelled at.

  12. Don’t stick around in a relationship with a miserable person trying to make them happy.

    You won’t make them happy, their misery will just spread to you

  14. Generally, life isn’t out to get you, nor are other people.

    * Turns out most people are very helpful, and try to do well by others, while also trying to manage their own situation as best as possible (and often not at all perfectly).
    * Finding good solutions and opportunities is very often a matter of asking and putting in more effort/thought in places you aren’t expected to, or think is even necessary.
    * A lot of the interpersonal problems you have, might actually be your own fault, even if it feels like it’s perfectly logical to blame the other person.

    Basically, I’ve been learning a lot the last long while that so many of my problems I made for myself. Generally, by not having a good handle on my reactions, rationalizing myself as the victim in one way or another, and/or giving up or idealizing setting my expectations (and efforts) low instead of putting in more energy. The latter, due to some good chance things do not pay off (being “worth it”). It *felt* like protecting myself. It was actually surrendering control so when things sucked, it wasn’t my own fault at least–when they didn’t need to suck in the first place, and was probably more my fault than ever.

  17. Life is a cold, dark, scary, mean, and unfair place and it’s up to you to go out there and succeed.

  18. If someone hurts you & promised to change but doesn’t do anything *to* change – spoiler alert – they’re not gonna change

    They’re going to get worse and that’s what I learned the hard way.

  19. That covert narcissists and Borderline Personality disorder is a thing and it will fuck up your decade and cost you everything when you choose the wrong partner to marry.

  21. Being the best person on your team doesn’t make you immune to being fired. It’s stupid of them to do it, but sometimes the boss needs to swing their metaphorical dick.

  22. That I need to control my anger and reactions to emotional distress.

    Lost the best thing that ever happened to me because of it.

  24. When your girlfriend whose virginity you took says she wants to try anal, ask her if she’s shit recently.

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