I am looking for advice with a new dating prospect. We met three weeks ago, and went on two really great dates last week. He’s more of an introvert and I’m more of an extrovert. We’re both 32 M, if that matters.
During the 2nd date, the sparks were definitely there. Touchy, feely, makeoutey, etc. We got talking about future plans, which all aligned, and honestly it was a pretty awesome date that ended much later than we expected. He texted me the next morning the date saying how much of an amazing time he had with me.
Feeling confident, I asked him out for a 3rd date this upcoming Friday but stated that I understood if he felt socially drained due to him going out every day for the last week. He responded with “I will let you know :D”. Which is totally valid since recharging the social battery is needed for everyone.
I’m just stuck now with a good bit of anxiety and I’m basically trying to prepare myself for any situation. I’ve been burned so many times in the past when people said “I’ll get back to you” and to have them not, in fact, get back to me. A friend and I have arranged to have drinks Friday evening and now I’m no longer free. I hate waiting on people and want to spend my Friday evening having a good time instead of being an anxious mess.
How should I respond to this guy if he ever gets back to me? There’s three cases, and one of them is the easy out. Either he gets back to me and says he wants to see me, gets back to me and says he doesn’t, or he ghosts me. I don’t want to bend over backwards for this guy but I’m gutted that he doesn’t even have it in him to try and reschedule and instead giving me false hope.
I’m definitely in my own head about this but any idea on what my plan should be? Any advice would be greatly appreciated (=
2 comments
You’re the anxious type. And I find the best way for anxious people to date is to get so busy that they’re never hung up or anyone or anything.
Date multiple people at a time (doesn’t mean you sleep with anybody) and yes, have an active schedule . That way, no specific person is constantly on your mind.
If he ever reaches out again, asks you out on Friday, you playfully reply “ awww sorry boo.. I already made plans 😛 I’m open on (…..) though!
Also.. I’m probably always going to be tied up with something if you ask last minute 😛 “ and that’s how you teach him that you’re not just laying around doing nothing all day, and that he needs to put effort into planning a date with you 😉
Well you shouldn’t wait until he reaches out, because you are no longer available on Friday. Why can’t you just say “hey! Haven’t heard from you, so I took up a friend’s offer to hang out on Friday. If you’re still up for seeing each other, let me know a good day and time!”