I won’t go into a lot of detail but I managed to find my husband’s OnlyFans. He had it hidden under a different email address and a different name. From what I saw he was following 2 girls for free, and there was only one charge for $8 from November 2021. I don’t know what this means as I have never used OF. Does it work like Twitch where you can follow a streamer and interact with them for free without needing to subscribe? Would my husband still be able to view their live streams and interact with them for free on OF? Someone please explain how this works.
November 2021 is when we found out I was pregnant with our first child. And I had to do IVF to get pregnant so this really hurts. My husband said his computer got hacked, but as I found the evidence I don’t believe him. He maintains he never used OF before and is sticking really hard to his story that he was hacked. Funny enough the account was created with his favorite comic book hero’s name (Wolverine). We even named our son after Wolverine. So what a coincidence that the “hacker” just happened to pick his favorite comic character.
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I believe he’s lying, for what it’s worth. I would be more concerned about the lying at this point, since it seems like he has stopped. If he would have admitted, you could repair and move forward.
I don’t know how OF works in terms of chatting, memberships, etc, so can’t help you there.
Try talking to him again.
OF is very much pay-to-play. You have to pay a subscription to the person to get access, usually in a month-to-month plan. Extra payment will get you extra attention or you can buy access to existing videos. Many girls have a free page but it’s either less explicit or a marketing ploy to advertise other women.
It’s kind of icky. You could be talking to ANYBODY in chat and they just push you to buy more vids. I went into OF not understanding exactly what it was, poked around a bit and figured it out, and then pretty much walked away from it. I’m not going to pay real money just to see some girls bits and pieces when I can get all that and more for free from traditional porn (it’s another discussion as to whether THAT is OK or not.)
If he’s only got $8 into it then he dipped a toe in the water and didn’t like what he found. Some model caught his eye and he paid for a month of access. He probably tried to chat with ‘her’ and ‘she’ just pushed him to buy and buy and buy, and he resisted the urge. At the end of the month he didn’t renew as he realized it wasn’t for him. I say shove him in the dog house for a bit and then let it go. It’s porn, but more expensive and more personal. He went in to see what’s what and then noped out of it. Yeah, he fucked up, but it could have been a lot worse. Explain your reasoning, explain why it hurts you, explain that this is his one free fuck-up. Explain that you need him to spend that energy on you and your marriage.
Now, the lying about the hacking is more problematic, to me. Lying in a marriage is almost always a terrible thing. Not sure how you get past that one. I always figured if I thought my wife was lying about something I’d tell her “Look, what’s done is done, the past can’t be changed. What you can do now is respect me, respect our marriage, and give me the truth. You can solve a problem by telling me the truth or cause a whole new problem by lying. Please, telling me the truth right now, even if it hurts, shows me that you love me and that you are in this with me. Lying right now shows me you are only it this for yourself and I cannot ever trust you. If you lied before, that’s in the past. I’m prepared to forgive that. Now is the time for healing, and for truth.”
Good luck.
Not only do you know your husband is using OF ( which I view as digital prostitution), you also know he has no problem lying to your face about his sexual gratification outside your marriage.
Computer hacked BAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣 By Wolverine LMAO 🤣 😂 🤣 These guys really sticking to their absolutely ridiculous claims, its too much 😂 🤣
Sorry OP. Your husband is a liar and a bad one at that. Yuck.
Men on here really bending over backwards to justify hiding and paying for porn as normal and healthy in a marriage. OP states they have a dead bedroom and her husband has ED.
How many of these same men would be cool to have a dead bedroom in their own relationship while their wife subscribes and pays to see to some random man’s daily dick picks?
OF is cheating. Paying for sexually explicit material and lying about it is cheating. How to hide OF from my wife is like the third google search response.
> From what I saw he was following 2 girls for free, and there was only one charge for $8 from November 2021.
> November 2021 is when we found out I was pregnant with our first child.
This is a tale as old as time following this sub. Really are a lot of men, where no matter how much they loved their wives before, seems to lose interest and start looking elsewhere as soon as she’s pregnant.
I could get over the facts of his subscription in this scenario, and I’m heavily against onlyfans because of how it operates.
What I wouldn’t be able to get over would be him lying to my face.
I don’t know a ton about OF but it seems more people are giving info on that I will say that isn’t really how hacking works. He is lying about the hacking for sure and good luck!
Check out the cc statement from that time?
I keep telling these ladys….yall will have to start showing your butthole to your husbands for $3.50….randomly.🤣
Think of it like going to a strip bar and getting a lap dance without any physical contact. If you want to see a girl then you have to pay a small fee. But in order to see them naked you have to keep tipping. If he only spent 8 bucks then he didn’t get to see anything.
So, just to play devil’s advocate here, I have an OF account. I was curious how the whole thing worked and signed up for an account. I immediately found out that it was almost all pay sites to … uh… do anything. There’s tons of porn for free, so I have no need to pay for anything. I used the account all of 5-6 minutes and haven’t used it since. There’s no point for me.
Now, it sounds like your husband bought at least ONE thing. Maybe he found the same thing, but bought one thing once. Unless you have a thing against porn, this isn’t the end of your marriage. It doesn’t sound like he’s accessing something constantly. It’s like he went to a restaurant, got some food, didn’t really enjoy it, so he’s not going back … but for porn.
You could… I don’t know.. talk to him about his porn activities or your sex life in general and ask him what you can do together to bring you two back in line together. I know it’s akward, but please don’t attack him. He’ll just build a shell, it will make a divide, and he’ll hide his activities even more.
The cheating at pregnancy is so rampant it suprises me that it isn’t a black box warning on pregnancy tests. “FATHERS, IF YOU ARE SCARED OF BECOMING A PARENT OR HAD A SHITTY CHILDHOOD, CHEATING WILL BE YOUR FIRST REACTION. GO TO THERAPY NOW.”
You can definitely use OF for free. And it can be completely just like regular porn where there’s no real interaction or personal contact, so it’s definitely possible that whatever he was doing wasn’t very high on the “cheating” spectrum.
But the lying about it is a huge deal, regardless of what he was or was not doing.
The good news is he appears to be such an incompetent liar that there’s a good chance that’s there’s noting else going on that you don’t know about.
” … there was only one charge for $8 from November 2021.” Where did you see this? On your bank account? Hackers, if they can access your bank account, will certainly take more than $8. Who permitted this deduction? It had to be your (ex) husband. If he won’t admit it , then you have to make some decisions. Good luck!
…so is your kid named Wolverine or Logan? Please say Wolverine.
“I got hacked!’
Your husband must take you for a moron.
Did he learn how to lie from a bunch of kindergartners?
What’s next?
“You know I was watching a nature documentary, but then, umm..but then Wolverine came and made me watch boobies!!!”
“Umm..umm..Wolverine took over my computahhh!!!!”
“Wolverine did it!!!!”
Have you got a second opinion from another attorney concerning your finances if you divorce?
At first I thought you were saying he produces content for OnlyFans. lol.
Honestly do you want this to ruin your whole life? Just cancel the account. Tell him you know he’s a freaking liar and to knock it off. Why are you setting the stage for him to try and convince you otherwise just “I know what you freaking did, I hate it, it better not happen again.”
ETA : you said you’re ready to pull the plug in another comment so, I mean, just do that then. If this is the straw that broke the camel’s back then again why are you setting the stage for him to try and lure you back or keep you
I’d be pissed, not only at his obvious lies, but the idea that he thinks you are dumb as a box of rocks. Lying in a relationship is so damaging.
So some women do have free only fans pages and you can sub for free. However, most women with free pages will not interact for free and just use free pages as a way to try to advertise the content they are selling. Free pages usually offer censored teasers and send out mass messages with PPV content.
The paid page would have been different. Once he paid he would gotten access to whatever she had visible on her wall. Most girls still give limited interaction to subs who subscribe unless they pay additional money though. So unless he paid more than $8, it’s unlikely he got anything specifically for him.
This is still very much cheating and I’m so sorry, especially during your pregnancy and one you tried so badly to have. Please take care of yourself and if at all possible, don’t let this take away from your moments. Easier said than done, I know. But- having been in this situation, those moments with your baby are so special.
Not only is he lying, he thinks you’re stupid enough to believe he was hacked. lol do you really want to associate yourself with someone who both lies and severely underestimates your intelligence?
How do people discover if their spouse has an OF account anyways?
Only fans is a subscription service, he can subscribe to peoples content and some will be free, some will not be. He can contact and message them for personalised content which he would have to pay for. He can find and follow specific people whom he likes. For me OF is crossing a boundary, it’s more than just a quick porn fix if you can make personal contact. His excuses of being hacked are pathetic and a complete show that he knows you would find his useage of such a platform unacceptable. He is trying to fool you into thinking it wasn’t him, but the unfortunate truth is it was and hes trying to protect himself as he knows what your reaction would be. And remember he knows this and did it anyway.
My dad always told me if a guy is lying to you about something small, he’s lying to you about something big. I’ve found that to be true myself. Start investigating. I’m sure he’s hiding more issues.
At this point, for him to keep lying would make me feel like he thinks I’m a fucking idiot. Him not coming clean immediately, apologizing, and doing what he needs to do to make it right says volumes about what he thinks of you and your marriage.
At face value, it sounds stupid to end a marriage over a little porn, but I have absolutely walked away from relationships where my partner treated me like I was a child.