How do you deal with negative self talk?

15 comments

1. Make a list of realistic things you could do that would make you an ideal version of yourself. Then, do them.

2. It took me a fair bit of therapy to stop doing that, unfortunately.

3. Not having any

4. You have to specifically, intentionally make an effort to do two things:

   1) Cut off those negative thought loops and redirect to something constructive. The more you instinctively tell yourself that you’re a hopeless loser, the easier it gets to keep doing it without thinking about it. And people don’t want to admit this, but there is a lot of comfort in doing this. It absolves you of any responsibility and lets you wallow in self pity. So as soon as you start having these thoughts, you have to stop and consciously say to yourself “no, that’s not true” and start building up a realistic understanding of the situation. Was there something you could have done better? Can you do it better next time? It’s not only fine to make mistakes and be bad at things; it’s human. You’re supposed to fuck up and learn and do better.

   2) Actually make an effort to improve in the areas that you feel bad about, or that you would like to do better in. Again, it’s okay to not be really good at something right away. It’s not okay to wallow in how bad you are at it if you can do something about it.

   Remember that growth is easier when it’s coming from a place of self respect than self loathing. Try to approach these things by being excited about the kind of person you’re going to grow into, rather than upset and hateful about the person you are now.

5. Negative self-talk is probably symptomatic of deeper issues. If you think you might be depressed, or if you suffer from generally low self-esteem, therapy and (if prescribed) medication can work wonders. It’s hard work, and the changes do not take place overnight, but it is worth it in the long run.

6. CBT. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. You have to chart those thoughts and they teach you to catch and observe them and identify the negative thought type and pattern as they occur. After a while you start to go, there is my mind reader tendency again, or, that’s me ruminating. It helps.

7. Smoke myself till I have no thoughts at all.

8. I buy him a beer and say, “Tell me more.”

9. My main goal when I’m talking to a woman is to make her laugh, or chuckle. If I’ve made her laugh or chuckle, it makes me feel better about myself. If I don’t, I might try a couple more times on different occasions. After that, I’m moving on because clearly she has a terrible sense of humor.

10. Give your inner negative voice a name, and tell them to stfu when you have those thoughts.

11. Talk to yourself like you’d speak to your best friend

12. Dont do it.

13. You body and mind is your home. It might not be what you desire at this moment, but that’s the only home you got. Take care of it. Build, renovate it, but do not destroy it.
    Radical acceptance. Work with what you have and go for it. Many women are quite intuitive and see through your doubts, but if you build courage to act despite that, a good woman will value that.
    I am afraid of many things and I also get negative self talk, but I still do things I want despite being self-conscious and afraid 😉

    Courage is attractive 🙂

    Good luck to you!

14. I let it win because in all honesty it was and is always right. If things were good I wouldn’t have negative talk but it’s part of my life and personality.

15. Just learn the art of self depreciation. Easy.