My bf and I have been together for 8 months and we have sex 1-2 times a week due to not being able to see each other often because of distance and busy schedules.
I have only had sex with two people, my current bf and my ex. Never been able to orgasm. I can orgasm 1-2 times per solo sesh, but when it comes to sex I can’t seem to build my climax.
I assure him that I enjoy having sex even without orgasming (which is true). He says he understands, but I know he doesn’t believe me and feels bad that he can’t make me cum.
When I talked to my girlfriends about it they were in disbelief that we’ve been dating for months and I still haven’t climaxed. They ask me if his size is the issue and tell me about their sex lives and how their bfs make them finish simply by oral and penetration.
I feel so horrible for not being able to finish. I’m his first and sometimes I feel like breaking up so he can find another woman who can easily orgasm and won’t make him feel bad.
I’d really appreciate any tips to help in the bedroom from people with similar problems.
2 comments
You need to be much kinder to yourself. It can be common for women to not climax from penetrative sex. Perfectly normal. You may not quite of found your rhythm together. But please don’t feel bad you’re doing nothing wrong.
Start smaller. Get him to focus more on oral and foreplay but try your best to be vocal about what you like and really communicate with each other. Take it from there
Statistically between 60-80% of women cant orgasm from penetrative sex alone, and need clitoral stimuli as well during sex.
I am obsessive about making my wife reach orgasm, and she is the same when it comes to me, and I can promise you that this does much more harm than good. It is a thought pattern that is hard to break free from, but if both are willing it is definitely possible.
Nothing is more disappointing than having great sex but then feel that sex was a waste of time because partner did not reach orgasm, when the truth is that both had a great time, this is where communication is absolutely vital.
Sex foremost should be fun, pleasurable and a bonding experience. If you properly mix these ingredients I can promise you that reaching orgasm or not will not matter for either partners, but when you orgasm it feels that **much** better, but remind yourself its perfectly fine to not orgasm every time you have sex.
There are ways to increase the chance of reaching orgasm, such as different activities or introducing toys.