I (23F) have been seeing this guy (25M) for about 2.5 months now. We met through my best friend’s older brother. She said her brother was so excited that we finally got set up. Ever since he asked for my phone number, we’ve talked daily and have been consistently going on dates at least 3 times a week over the last 2.5 months. During this time frame, he has also brought me around his friends, coworkers, and family multiple times. I’ve also brought him around my closest friends and my family as well.
Everything is going so well, it basically feels like we’re already a couple. I’m not sure if he maybe assumes I’m his girlfriend already, since we’ve already made it clear neither of us are talking to or dating anyone else. But I’ve developed some serious feelings for him. I can see myself falling in love with him, which is terrifying but exciting. I see him as a part of my future, and I know that if this ended I would be devastated. My parents and all of my friends love him, and think we’re a great match. His friends and family seem to really like me too.
I can tell he’s more introverted and can be shy at times, and the truth is I can be too. And I love that about him. He’s quiet, humble, and sweet. But he hasn’t officially asked me to be his girlfriend or directly expressed what he wants in terms of a relationship yet. I told him I really liked him first, and he told me the same. But other than that, I haven’t brought up anything else in terms of our relationship status. I want to bring it up, but because he hasn’t been super vulnerable with me, I don’t want to scare him off or come across as “clingy.”
The only scenario that has happened where he called me his “boyfriend” was at a bar with his friends. We were all standing around in a circle talking, and a random guy came up to me and asked if I had a BF. Before I could respond, he stepped in, shook the guy’s hand, and said “yes, I’m her boyfriend.” The random guy apologized and said how pretty I was, to which he responded “thank you, I know.” However this was only about 3 weeks into us seeing each other, and he hasn’t brought it up or called himself that since. And I wasn’t sure if he did that just to make the guy go away.
We talk about going on trips in the future and holidays, etc. I’m not worried, but more so looking for guidance. Every past relationship I’ve been in the guys have always been extremely forward and direct. This guy is so different, but in the best way. I think that’s what I like about him so much.
I know it’s not expected for the guy to be the one to ask and officially put the “label” on the relationship. I personally think he would be happy if I did, but I’m looking for advice. Maybe from someone who’s been in this situation before and was nervous to truly express yourself. I know I need to, because I’m beginning to fall quickly and I can’t hold my feelings in any longer. I just want to know if I can introduce him as my boyfriend to people, and where I stand in terms of his feelings for me and this relationship.
**TDLR: Dating guy for 2.5 months, want to officially call him my boyfriend. Need advice.**
2 comments
Just talk to him. After 2-3 months of any situationship, it’s fair to ask the “what are we” questions, don’t fall for the “assumptions” excuse. Again: 3 months is a solid ground to have this talk, assuming by then, there has been some sleep overs, some group event and you have done a fair amount of indoors and outdoors activities and enough bedroom fun to determine whether is a yay or nah.
>I know it’s not expected for the guy to be the one to ask and officially put the “label” on the relationship. I personally think he would be happy if I did, but I’m looking for advice. Maybe from someone who’s been in this situation before and was nervous to truly express yourself. I know I need to, because I’m beginning to fall quickly and I can’t hold my feelings in any longer. I just want to know if I can introduce him as my boyfriend to people, and where I stand in terms of his feelings for me and this relationship.
I feel like you’ve already talked yourself into it. Just go for it!
Don’t worry about this “guys vs girls” thing, you’re both in this relationship together.
Just have a nice serious face to face chat, and get all your feelings out.
It’s definitely not too soon, and if he can’t handle a little chat like this (especially at your ages) he’s not gonna be a good fit anyway. So it’s really kind of “win-win” for you anyway.