So I joined this sub to get insight on married life. but here almost 90% of the posts are( Just guessing after 2-3 years of marriage)—
— we’re missing something in the marriage.
— My wife is having an affair.
— My husband doesn’t feel attracted to me.
— I’m feeling lonely in my marriage.
— After kids, our sex life is not as good as it used to be.
— The spark is not there anymore.
— I miss the novels of the relationship
and 10% post is ( Just guessing this is one sided feeling and still on honeymoon period)
— I love my wife.
— I love my husband.
80% of the comment is
— Get divorced
20% of the comment is
— Get divorced
11 comments
Most people who are happy don’t have time to tell people because they are busy being happy!
Post-Covid marriage issues.
I’ve been with my husband for 29 years, married 22. Occasionally we argue or fight. Sometimes it seems big in the moment but later is workable. I think most people have to let it get to the workable point and then actually work at it. You can’t be selfish in marriage. It takes 100% from each is you. But I am extremely happy in my marriage, even if I have days I wouldn’t mind smacking him with a pillow. You have to want it and work at it and always think of that other person and your family and put in what you want back.
Most of my profile is positive posts to this sub for just this reason.
80% of happy marriages aren’t going to be posting here, so your sample size is literally designed for people to get advice because something negative is happening in their life.
And maybe most of the advice to divorce is based on experience, or it could be the author of the post was already leaning in that direction, and they just came here to feel validated.
I don’t think we rushed to divorce here, I do think we use our experience and put ourselves in their shoes. But I’m not going to change what I say because I’m self-conscious of my voting history, I’m going to they were each situation on its own.
Google self-selection bias. Thank me later
I love my husband. We have a great marriage. Married 17 years. It’s wonderful. You know who doesn’t want to hear about it? People struggling in their marriage. Posting about it seems weird to me.
Because people, who’s only problem is the right setting on the toaster, aren’t making a post about it. That’s ridiculous. Most of the time people, who can’t see the forest anymore, because of all the trees (common saying in my native tongue/ an english narration doesn’t come to mind right now), are making the majority of the posts. They go like this: Husband pays escorts on business trips/ Wife hasn’t touched me in 10 years/ I’m in love with by SIL. Of course everybody screams divorce. What else could they say?
Those who are happily married/not having any issues don’t post about how everything is going great.
It’s an advice forum. People don’t usually post here unless there’s something going wrong that they want advice about. It’s like reading Dear Abby and wondering why no one is happy.
It’s self-selecting for people with problems.