30F, I’m straight and been sexually active on and off since 18. I used to be in longer term relationships but haven’t been in one for many years, and sexual partners has been changing periodically for maybe 3 years.
The last penetrative sex I had was in May, and I had a keyhole surgery due to my ovarian teratomas in July. I’m also taking hormone pills to treat my symptoms. I moved back to my parent’s this month and moving out again next month.
I know that my situation is not ideal for ONS and stuff, but it’s not only that—since my surgery, I feel horny but doesn’t want sex or be a part of dating culture. I don’t necessarily feel attracted to guys around my hometown either.
I’m wondering if 1. 1’m getting older and feeling insecure about dating trajectories 2. The surgery on my ovaries and the medication is changing my body 3. Or I’m genuinely turning asexual.
I’ve downloaded dating apps to see ‘what’s in the pond’ but the idea that there’re some men out there desiring me kinda disgusts me. I’ve never been like this before. There’s someone I talk to who I used to share sexual feelings, but now I feel more comfortable spending time more platonic, not engage in sexual activities together.
Weird thing is I still think about my past sexual experience and review, like ‘Mmm that was good, should do that part more’ but don’t wanna engage in new opportunities. I don’t even wanna watch porn! Is there anyone going through similar situations? Any advice?
4 comments
first off hugs and hang in there.
Sounds like its your hormones / meds causing this combined with not being excited by anyone local. Have you brought up the change in your drive to your doctor? perhaps they have an idea or can adjust your meds.
I’m sure if you talk to your doctor and moving out will put you back on the sexual projectory
You are not asexual.. your body and mind are just afraid because of your medical condition…if you are medically well.. go for it…. don’t go into direct sex.. first make trust of your partner…make conscious relationship…then do sex..
I agree with first comment.
Wait there until you’re off meds. Hormones are very tricky about how they make you feel. Once you meds pass on, if you still feels like that then if you like it, pay a visit to a sexologist
Come and visit /r/asexuality
It’s possible that you are currently asexual, it sounds like it. All that means is you do not find other people sexually attractive. This could be because of the surgery and meds you are on now. It may also just be in response to all the stress that’s in your life immediately.
There is nothing wrong with being asexual, it in itself is not something that requires fixing. However, as its possibly a result of everything that’s happening let your doctor know.