I found a bracelet in the side of the door with an initial on it that is not mine. There is a coworker of his that has that same initial and they are friends but she just got married and had a child. He denies knowing where the bracelet is from and claims that it’s mine, but I know it’s not mine and there is literally an initial on it. He let me go through his phone and I did not see anything crazy, except that they message a lot. The bracelet is driving me crazy and I trust him, but I don’t want to be naive.
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You said you trust him. You didn’t find any inappropriate messages. Even if it’s hers, that just means that she might have been in the car. (Maybe they drive together for a team meeting or lunch?).
Maybe it’s best to “file it” away unless you see any other red flags?
Clearly someone was in his car. The fact that he is trying to convince you it is yours is a huge red flag. I’d be doing some investigating.
Ask her husband about the bracelet.
He probably bought it , and he has no incentive to lie.
I would message the husband a picture of the bracelet and ask if it is his wife’s. If you found a tank top her size and everything, I would suspect cheating and since they both are married, they both know they are doing something bad so I bet they only do intimate things together in person which is why you can’t find any texts. (Edit: I just read the comments and saw the upcoming dinner comment, if you still have the tank top show off the tank top at some point! Doesn’t have to be the dinner)
Ask her husband not yours. Either way hold on to it. Someone left it to let you know they exist. The answer is yes because your husband is lying and denying. There’s likely more evidence that your husband is hiding in his car.
Look up phone records, if he’s deleting calls or messages the phone records will verify if it’s only what your able to see. Also will provide times when those calls and messages where made.
A coworkers bracelet being in your husbands car isn’t a big deal. But him not just saying oh xyz and I went to lunch it must have fallen off or something like that is sketchy to me. My male coworkers and vice versa have left stuff in each others cars by accident but since we are 100% platonic it’s not a big deal
What do they message about?
I’ve bought couple used cars, I will tell you this, when doing deep clean, I’ve found condoms hidden behind the plastics interior-between door and drivers seat and thongs hidden underneath those plastic covers in diff areas of the cars. Check for other clues!
Use the husbands phone to text her. Send her a picture of the bracelet.
Go through her pictures on Instagram and see if shes wearing that bracelet in any of the pictures.
My wife found a necklace in our car. I got grief about it for a week until her daughter came to claim it.
Go to his work and say I found your bracelet in the car. I don’t know why it was there, so maybe you need to be more careful. I don’t think your husband would like you losing your stuff in a married man’s car. Oh ya, i noticed you also message my husband a lot too.
Enough said. Bring cookies, too, and a nice devious smile. I think she will get the hint. If she doesn’t, it would be hard to solve that either.
Well, I guess you could also tell your husband that it would be a shame if her husband found out you two messaged a lot and that I found her bracelet in our car.
Well then, you could also say that it isn’t yours because it has an initial on it. It takes a special kind of stupid to suggest it could even be mine. There are so many things to say.
One thing I will tell you that you might not agree with. He’s gaslighting you. He’s cheating. He might be her child’s father. He might not have fu@$÷# her yet, but he’s trying. Don’t give him the chance. Know where he is always. Find out what the law is for your area… and put a gps in his car. If the law says you can, without his knowledge, then there you go. I know cheaters my first husband was the best. Good thing I was a better detective.
It’s impossible for a random redditor to determine if your husband is cheating or not. Take comments with a grain of salt.
I will say this. I was faithful to my wife for nearly 20 years.
There were multiple times that I found womens socks, and once a lulu lemon headband in my car that were not hers.
No idea whose they are or how they got there to this day.
Additionally a woman in his car does not equal cheating. It’s a pretty big stretch to go from a ride to “a ride”.
They message a lot? What kind of messages? No man and women should message that much unless it’s strictly about work
That’s definitely scetchy. He already messages the woman a lot and her (probably) bracelet is in your car. I’d say he’s cheating. Did you check other apps? You can see all the ones he’s downloaded and when through the App Store if you have Apple in case he’s deleting some app and downloading it again.
Honestly, the way he tried to convince you that the bracelet is yours when it CLEARLY isn’t is an indication that he’s hiding something. Regarding the co-worker, the advice that you try to look through her Instagram photos if you find the bracelet is a very good idea. But all in all, I wouldn’t pass it up. Try to be more attentive, but without attacking too much. If he is really hiding something, he will now be more aware of your suspicions.
Found bracelet in car. Bracelet not yours. Bracelet has girl’s initial.
Husband claims girl’s never been in car.
Found tank in home. Tank not yours. Tank in that girl’s size.
MIL confirms tank’s not hers either.
I mean, she could have been leaning in the window, and the bracelet just slipped off…
… but…
The tank top. And the texting. And you guys haven’t been banging it out for awhile? And he paints her as “crazy”? He probably tells her you’re crazy, too.
Seems fishy
Sounds like he has been having an affair with the coworker for a while, could he be the father of her child?
Pumpkin eater! The tell is the gaslighting about the bracelet belonging to you (as if you don’t know what you own) rather than choosing an easier explanation. Honest people do not make up nonsense when the truth is an easier explanation.
They chat a lot and there’s a bracelet in his car he claims is yours but isn’t. Seems fishy but without hard evidence not much to go on.
Has he ever driven her home or anything? Shit in the side of my truck door has been there for ages and honestly I don’t know what’s there. If I gave a coworker a ride two years ago from a company thing and she put a bracelet in there, I wouldn’t know or notice, to be honest.
Is your husband like me? Was it in his or the passenger door? Was it in packaging or loose? Has there ever been a legit time he gave someone with that initial a ride and it could have fallen off?
Like not kidding I’ve discovered things in my doors before that I must have put there or someone did.
So could be cheating but also might not be. Need evidence. If he’s cheating he’ll say he isn’t and likely be angry. If he’s not cheating, he’ll say he isn’t and may be offended at being accused. So without evidence it’s hard to know. He could act tge same in both situations.
Check your cell phone bill. Also check his deleted folders. And look at battery usage for his apps. And for a burner phone.
I think it’s a strong indicator he’s cheating. Even if they didn’t have sex that time or if at all, the fact that they talk so much is a red flag. I also don’t think it’s appropriate of her to be in that car if they are both married. Period. Take your own car… I’d keep my guard up if I were you. This might not be definitive proof yet. If you do find out he’s cheating you’ll have to decide if you wanna stay to work it out or leave. That’s another shitty situation to be in… be strong. My crazy ass would put a recording device in the car though to record any conversations lol
Just for what it’s worth, I (M) once left my wedding ring in my male cousin’s car. I guess I must have been fiddling around with it while we were driving somewhere and it fell near the seat. The ring was discovered by his wife a few weeks later, which led to some unnecessary heartache for everyone.
My advice is just don’t jump to any conclusions without any evidence because, as unlikely as it may seem now, there could be a perfectly innocent explanation. And you will end up causing a lot of unnecessary harm to your marriage by thinking the worst of your husband without basis.
Any chance it’s kids or anything like that? If not yeah idk about all that
Or… instead of just going to her husband… Tell your husband to fess up now or you’ll ask her husband about the bracelet and blow up her pretty little life in 2.2 seconds.
A bracelet and a tank top?
Too suspicious.
Have you hidden the items? They might just vanish and he could then gaslight you.
They might also be having secret communication in another app.
You know someone was in the car, and in your apartment, so just be on alert. And get an STD/STI test to be sure.
Updateme
I agree with another comment in this thread that you should look at phone records to see if there’s any texts/calls getting deleted. Just because this other person is married with a child doesn’t mean they’re not capable of having an affair with your husband. I would also not bring it up with your husband again…when people who are cheating think that their partner isn’t paying attention is when they slip up. Then you may get your proof
The problem is him trying to convince you it’s yours. I would ask him to call her with you and ask if she’s missing an initialed bracelet.
If he’s never done anything like that before, I’d have some trust in him. I would definitely let him know how inappropriate this relationship with the coworker is, even if it is 100% platonic, and let him know it bothers you. But otherwise I would let it go. The tank top can easily be explained if you guys were on a trip with other people, it could be anyone’s that one of you just took home by mistake. I’ve definitely took my mom’s things by mistake and she then claimed things weren’t hers until months later when she realized that it actually was hers, she just hadn’t missed it yet. He could’ve given anyone a ride, who found the bracelet on the street even and picked it up, then forgot it in the car. Literally there are so many things that could’ve happened. Unless he’s given you reasons in the past to distrust him like this, I would trust what he’s saying. Also, if you’ve shown to be a jealous person in the past, he may have tried pushing the bracelet off as yours to avoid you getting upset (just a possibility). I’d definitely keep an eye out for any other suspicious activities but overall I would talk to him about the coworker, then let the situation go
It’s almost always a coworker. And don’t let the fact that’s she’s married and has a young child make you think it can’t be her. My ex was cheating on me with someone he worked with who had an infant and was living with her boyfriend in the in laws house.
If he’s good he would have everything suspicious hidden. Mine had her number saved under a phone number that, when I looked it up, belonged to an old male acquaintance. So her name in his contacts was “512-###-####”, and when I looked it the number it was a guy friend. When someone has something to hide they can go through extreme efforts to keep themselves safe.
Hey everyone thank you for all the responses I am going to try to ask her husband over dinner
When you go to dinner ….
Get the husband in private and show it to him, ask him if he recognizes the bracelet without giving him any context first. This will allow you to save face if he indeed does not recognize the bracelet, you can easily play it off.
If you also have the tank top, bring it with you too!
This is very strange, and seems like very sloppy cheating (if cheating is going on), almost like this woman wants you to know it is happening?! Why else would this bracelet be placed this way, and forget an entire article of clothing?
This convo can go 1 of 2 ways.
(1) he recognizes the bracelet. Mystery solved.
(2) he doesn’t. Mystery continues…….. you will have to get creative to get to the bottom of this.
Why don’t u buy one of those tracking devices and hide in his car? If he’s sneaking out with that co-worker you’ll be able to track and catch him in the act.
Your husband should not ‘message a lot’ with a woman that’s not his wife. People do not directly jump to bed. Many of them build emotional intimacy. You and your husband need to protect your marriage. Get a religion, some boundaries, lots of sex, some counseling and perhaps another job.
You know it is not yours and the initials on the bracelets matches a co worker of his.
That is all you know, right. Any other suspicious activity of your husband including her?
First it actually could be hers but under a innocent circumstance. Carpool with him to an office luncheon. Another person’s with the same initial as hers.
The thing that would bother me was him saying it is yours which is so ridiculous on its face it appears he is innocent or he was caught off guard and panicked.
Just watch him closely and continue with your life for now. I would not contact her or her husband for now.
Remember patience is a superpower
Is it possible to look at a persons location when I was gone on a trip? I left for a trip about 3 weeks ago and if anything happened, that’s probably when it happened. He has his location on so maybe I could track where he went during my vacation
My family and I are thinking of hiring a PI, has anyone done this before? Can they hack into computers and look at deleted text messages?