I haven’t known her for long. We’re both single and when we hang out, she often only wants to talk about boys and how “they all suck”. I noticed that she doesn’t have many friends. The friends that she does have – she has only known them for a few months to a year (like me).
I have a decent time with her when hanging out 1-on-1, but when I introduce her to my groups of other friends, she acts way different. She gets quiet and she looks miserable. Sometimes It seems like she is jealous of me and my friends. I have a lot of long-time friends, unlike her.
We had an incident recently, and I’m not sure where to go from here. Or if im in the wrong?
Here’s what happened:
We met at my place before heading out, since I only live 10 minutes away from the party.
We took an Uber there. While we were in the uber, my guy friend texted me saying that he was in town and that he might be going to the party too. It’s been a year since I saw him. I was happy to hear, so when I got the text, I excitedly said “oh, my friend Alex might be coming to the party too! I haven’t see him in so long!” She didn’t really say anything.
A couple hours into the party (it wasn’t even midnight yet), she told me she wanted to go home. I said “ok, I’m going to stay longer, I’m having a good time”. She got really upset and said, “I thought we were going home together”. Which I never said we were. I said, “no, I kind of want to stay longer…” she got mad and stormed out. She didn’t even say goodbye to the rest of our group. Everyone was really confused.
Later that night, she texted a friend in the group and told her that I’m only staying out because I want to see Alex. Which was not the case! Alex couldn’t even make it out anymore! (She didn’t know this). I genuinely stayed because I was having fun.
I’m upset over this situation. Why would she act this way? Is she jealous? She assumed that Alex and I had a romantic interest. When we don’t. We’re just friends. Am I in the wrong here?
She also texted me the next morning, acting like nothing happened. She was drunk, but not drunk enough to not remember it.
What do I do? And why would she act this way? I have many friends and I don’t really need a friend like this in my life.
Tldr: my friend gets weird when I introduce her to my other friends, but is ok 1-on-1. We had an incident recently, she got mad at me for not going home when she wanted to. She assumed I was only staying out to meet up with my guy friend, who she thought I had a romantic interest in. Which is not true. I was genuinely having fun and wanted to stay out! She got really mad and then acted like nothing happened the next day. Am I in the wrong here? Is she just jealous of me and my other friends? What do I do? I don’t need a friend like this.
4 comments
> I don’t need a friend like this.
That is the answer to your question.
All you have to consider is how much you’re willing to spend time with her, if this is how she’s going to behave. If you do want to maintain this friendship, don’t invite her into groups. You two only enjoy one another one-on-one.
Whatever her reasoning, she expects a level of togetherness/priority/focus from you that you’re not offering her in group settings. Don’t get your own knickers in a knot. Just go on, not offering that.
Stop giving this/her so much of your energy.
She seems very toxic. Are you sure you need this in your life?
I have social anxiety and act like this. I can be OK talking with one person but as soon as there’s more people I freeze and look like I hate everything when I really don’t. So could be that rather than jealousy?
She’s possessive and childish and wants you to be lonely and miserable like she is.
Block her and find a new friend