What do you mean by “nice guys”?

7 comments

1. When people talk about nice guys like that they talk about dudes that are definitely not actually very nice, but they insist they are and that’s why women should be obligated to fuck them.

2. Guys that insist that they’re nice but in reality are only pretending to be so in hopes of getting something (such as sex) and when they don’t get it they flip their shit and become angry and often abusive.

3. People who insist a lot that they are “nice,” with the implication being that they are therefore owed sex. If they do not get sex, it is a tragedy and they are a hero for not doing something that wouldn’t be “nice” like raping the woman.

   People who are genuinely nice do not tell you that they are nice, they just do nice things. People who are genuinely nice do not do things because they expect something in return — again, they just do nice things.

   “Nice guys” are called that in scare quotes because that is what they call themselves, not because it is accurate.

4. If a guy refers to himself as a “nice guy,” especially in the context of bemoaning the state of his love life or the types of guys women choose to date, he’s probably not actually a nice guy. When we put quotes around “nice guy,” this is the kind of guy we’re talking about.

   A genuinely nice guy doesn’t have to tell people how nice he is, and he doesn’t do it for the purpose of impressing women — he’s just nice for the sake of being nice. He doesn’t get cranky about his niceness not being appreciated because he’s secure in his character and values.

5. Guys who think being nice is a currency and when they’ve been nice enough they are entitled to sex because they weren’t actually being nice at all

6. Depends on the context in which I’m using those words. It either means someone is legitimately a nice person or that they are a “nice guy” which is someone who is only surface-nice projects but it is actually being manipulative and feels entitled to other people’s affection in part based on that performative niceness. Their niceness is a cover for being entitled and angry. They aren’t actually safe partners, and they aren’t actually nice.

7. Guys who demonstrate transactional niceness. That their niceness means that they should be offered something in return. And when they do not get something in return they withdraw their niceness.