I (20M) can’t get over a woman who’s much older than me (35F)

First of all excuse me for my English, I’m from Slovakia so I might make a few mistakes.

To begin with, last summer i met a woman while I was working at my town’s library. She is a university professor and she pretty much was around the library the whole time.

She was stunningly beautiful, she basically looked like a model (tall, slim, nice hair and a gorgeous face). I was shocked when I first saw her but I didn’t thought I had chance.

Fast forward she started talking to me. Like a lot. She was extremely smart and charming. I was thinking she could be flirting with me, but I never tried to flirt back, because of the age gap, plus I knew she was married.

Anyway a few weeks ago she asked me if I would like to go out with her sometime and I agreed. I thought she was just being friendly, because we had a lot of common interests and it was always fascinating talking with her.

We finally hang out, and while I was walking her home she told me that she’s really into me and that she could not stop thinking about me the whole time. At first I was stunned, I could not believe what I heard and I thought that things like that only happen in movies. After a little while, I admitted to her that I liked her a lot too. And she just grabbed me and kissed me. It was amazing, I mean she is much older and she had a lot of experience.

From that day on we started talking everyday for like 4 months. I think these were the 4 happiest months of my life. She was constantly stimulating my brain and I think that he had great chemistry. We used to talk about the age gap and she told me numerous times that if I were older I would for sure be her boyfriend but sadly the timing was not right for us but she mentioned she wanted to stay in touch with me.

Things were going pretty well, but I had to get back to uni so we were seeing each other less and less. She suddenly stopped texting me and after sometime she ghosted me. It’s been 1 year since and I can’t really get her out of my head. She was the most amazing person I’ve ever met, I genuinely believe that we had a great connection. I know that a lot of you will say that I’m naive and I might be, but this is just how I feel.

Also I was feeling bad about her husband the whole time, I know that was I was doing was wrong but I acted egotistically. A woman who cheats is surely not a person that someone would like to be with, but I never talked with her about her marriage, it was something that was never mentioned. I’m sure they could have a lot of problems

I also think that she probably considered the whole situationship a fling, and she has moved well post upon it, but I haven’t. I still think of her everyday. I find it hard to like other girls anymore, everyone I meet I compare her to her and she’s always comes up as better in my mind. I think that her age and experience made me fall for her easier than I would.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my story and ask for your opinions. Will the pain heal someday? It pains me to wake up every morning and think about her, while she probably doesn’t. I was considering going to therapy but I’m kinda ashamed to talk about the whole thing.