No spark, but he would be a great life partner. Is this the wrong thing to do? The alternative is grim.

Just looking for peoples feedback, thoughts, wisdom, anything 🙂 I’ve never had a serious long term relationship but have had plenty of shorter term ones. Four times I have felt that deep intense coup de foudre “sparks” “in love” connection, whatever you want to call it. These relationships didn’t work out for various reasons. I always had it in my mind that I’d date someone for like ten years before settling down and having kids…… but then I woke up one day and I’m 27.

The break ups I went through were traumatizing, and turned me off to relationships. But there is a guy I had an on and off fling with (not one of the four that I was really in love with) who I recently started talking to again. He is nice and we have similar values but I just never felt that crazy/intense/dopamine rush “in love” feeling with him. He would basically move wherever I want to live (he works remote), have or adopt as many kids as I want, support me financially whatever grad school / etc I want to pursue, takes me on vacation wherever I want to go, is 100% honest, trustworthy, stable, the most dependable person alive. I am very lucky to have met him. He is very transparent that he wants a life partner and I know he would be an amazing one to me. I know I’m capable of being a great supportive life partner to him too. But I just don’t have that intense spark/rush/crazy feeling I had with others. I’d give anything for one of those guys to be offering me the life Mr Dependable But No Spark is offering me.

I’m seriously considering just having a life with Mr Dependable. I’m too jaded from heartbreak to try to find that “spark” love again.

And maybe these days people are too focused on finding that perfect/soulmate/whatever, when it was perfectly fine how they did it 100 years ago, just marrying whoever lived nearby and would support you. Maybe I would grow to really love Mr Dependable over time as we go through things together and he continues to be the ‘rock’ that he is.

Any advice or anything you’ve learned I would love to hear. So sorry for the length of this post.

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