(Sorry for my bad english)
Hi, im a girl and i’m 17 years old.
I always was more shy, introverted than my family members and friends,
But i used to be kinda the golden child when i was a kid, because i could sing, i did theater, and i could play guitar. And i could create drawings, i was a pretty creative kid.
But when i turned 12, something switched.i got pretty sad, my stepmother always tried to fight with me,my dad always wanted to fight with me, my brother, my mom.it wasn’t a good time. Then later when the lockdown came(i was 13) i got depressed, and i was always lazy, i didn’t do theater, i didn’t play my guitar, i didn’t sing. I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
From 13 years old to 15 years old i was turning into the scapegoat of the family, cause i was depressed and i was doing pretty bad, skipping school, crying alot , smoking and drinking, but i did have some friends, but they where kinda bad for me ( they always said i should stand up for myself to my parents, even tho my parents weren’t strict at all, they just asked basic things)
But later when i was 15, i was never rude to my family, never trying to argue, always doing the things they asked me to do, taking care of my little sister, etc
Now , my little sister is kinda the golden child, the child my stepmother and father always brag about. In their eyes she can do no wrong,
But whenever i was good at something, they would make my sister do the same thing.
When i was good at playing guitar, they bought a guitar for my sister,
When i was doing theater, they put her on acting lessons
When i was cutting off my hair, they give her the same haircut
When i was known as” the singer” in my family they put her on singing lessons
When i went thrifting, they started to go thrifting with her,
They did the same things i always do, with almost literally everything.
When I GRADUATED high school, they seemed to not care at all, even tho i was stressing so much about it.but thy would start bragging about the good grade my little sister got in a random class.
They didn’t like when other people complimented me, and would then start bragging about my sister ( or my brother)
Etc, it was getting annoying cause it felt like they replaced the only things i was good at to her.
My sister also copied my style, the way i dress, even the ways used to talk, the music i listen to,hairstyles, and how i write poetry etc.
So i felt left out, and alone, and worthless
Like i felt like they wanted to make my sister better in everything, so my sister got better at everything.
My brother liked my sister more, strangers liked my sister more.
I like my sister , she’s a creative kid. And i never fight with her.it just sometimes feels like i’ve been replaced.like my family doesn’t care about anything i do, or what i have to say.
What hurts me the most is that i will be turning 18 this year, my sister is turning 13.when i was 13 i felt left out, hated, under appreciated, i was bullied by kids in my school.
My brother(22) always straight up called me annoying( i still dont really get it cause i never talked at all),but he always loved my sister.
And i don’t know, it hurts the way my family threats her because i never got that love, and i feel like no matter how hard i try, i always get left out