So, for starters, I know everyone in here is going to say that this was a bad idea. In a small way, yes it was, but that’s besides the point.
For the people that are going to comment that it was a bad idea, I have no intention of getting back with him whatsoever. Our relationship was toxic, and we decided to split ways 3 years ago after being together for 2. I’m trying to leave the state in a few months, and we’re both very different people now in terms of what we want to do with our lives. And he struggles with infidelity. I figured a hookup would be harmless, since we already know each other’s preferences pretty well. I initially turned him down since he reached out to me, but after 24 hours of sitting on the idea and how hot and “forbidden” it’d be, I got so turned on.
Anyways, we hooked up last night. And holy fuck was it gooood. Mind you, this is the same guy I lost my virginity to. I didn’t realize just how much he shaped my sexual preferences and a lot of my kinks subconsciously. There were a lot of things that I caught myself wishing my partners or sexual encounters after him would do. And even after communicating these things to them, it just wouldn’t be the same. I always left the situation kinda feeling a tad unsatisfied and not knowing why, but I just remembered last night that a lot of these unmet expectations stemmed from my first ex. Which makes me so annoyed.
I just love how dominant yet passionate my ex was/is. I feel like I keep running into overly dominant and aggressive men, overly passive and uninvolved men, or men who fuck perfectly but they lack the full passion and care to finish me off. Maybe I just haven’t had sex with enough people (my body count is 8, I really only mess with people I have an emotional connection to), but either way this situation is lame, haha. I wish more guys were into aggressively sucking face, weren’t afraid to moan, and loved eating pussy and making eye contact while doing it. And weren’t afraid of trying a lot of the kinks I’m into. I just want to be thrown around and treated like a princess at the same time, and so far my ex is the only one to have mastered that. Pun intended.
Has anyone else here run into the same problem? Please tell me I’m not completely alone in this? Any tips or suggestions. Or am I just absolutely fucked.
3 comments
I’m currently in the same situation, only suggestion is to communicate your needs but it’s hard cause I guess it should be natural
No, you are not alone by a long shot. My high school sweetheart (took each other’s virginity), child’s mother and person I’ve been with for 13 years on and off.. knew how to handle me sexually in a manner that only one other woman in my life did. That individual that knew how to handle me the same as my child’s mother, I found out within a year of our relationship that she was in a relationship with 2 other men and also having sexual relations with two additional men. So 5 men total. She later admitted to being a nympho, so I resulted her being extremely well in bed to “a lot of practice”.. lol but my child’s mother has also admitted to our sex being different than what we’ve experienced with others. I don’t know how to explain it.
Get on a dating app and be explicit about what you want in a sex partner.