Haven’t fully recovered after a breakup, haven’t had sex for 7 months and still struggle with getting turned on. I watch porn sometimes and jerk off every couple of days but rather as a routine and being bored. I visit a therapist (even changed a couples ones), I’m semi depressed but not to a degree that I can’t function. I really miss being horny, dreaming about having sex and go on dates.
Has anybody had this issue? How did you recover?
Addition question: are there any pills that helps you get horny? I’ve heard about pills from ADHD that they have this side effect but not sure if that’s true.
4 comments
First things first, please do not misuse amphetamines. ADHD medication is not appropriate for you unless you have ADHD and are being treated by a doctor.
Second- there are a lot of reasons you could be struggling here. The depression is the big one, but also fixating in this issue can exacerbate it. It causes stress which is distracting. People don’t tend to feel relaxed enough to get aroused out of boredom (as in, being horny before you watch porn vs watching porn to achieve horniness) if there is stress in their lives that takes their focus. What I’d call existential stress, like wondering about your place in the world or your worth or your future, is damn near impossible to set aside the way you can with stuff like work stress. Can’t really take a break from yourself, you see.
Maybe working on feeling hopeful for your future will help your mindset and get you to relax properly and unlock the “luxury hormones” instead of drowning in cortisol or whatever’s happening up in that noodle. I think you’re stuck in survival mode tho.
I don’t know if I am being so simple. What about lifting weights and cardio? And porn is not good for anything. Try to focus on a hobbie or your friendships to not think about your breakup.
Might want to get your testosterone, SHBG, estrogen, and prolactin levels checked
I think you need more time to heal bro, I went a whole year without after a big breakup 2 years ago and still sometimes get anxiety and can’t perform. Some of us take longer to get over it and move on or randomly hook up but it’s ok coz it’s normal ok.
There is nothing wrong with you and you don’t need medication just time my friend.
Use this time to work out, go in nature, try meditation and just generally get your love for self back. Good luck👍🏽