Hi, I am a 30 yr old male, married to a 28yr old female. I am stuck in this marriage since the beginning(4.5 years ago) and due to cultural issues, I am finding it increasingly hard to leave this marriage. Unfortunately we have a daughter, which further complicates things. I’m looking for a few answers and I request you to not comment on this post if you ahve anything negative to say on this culture. I hate it more than anything else and dont want to be reminded of it. That’s why i’m ‘stuck’
So the thing im looking for is diagnosing my wifes behavior. She has some childhood trouble(got adopted by aunt and then sent back to her real mother once the aunt had her kid. That’s all i know). Since day 1, she’s been acting bipolar. She will be so happy in the morning that she wil stop m from going to work so we can spend the day at a park. In the park, she will get upset on something and stop talking to me for two days. Two days later, she will apologize to me and tell me why she got upset(which would have nothing to do with me). This routine has been going on for 4 years.
It is so repetitive that I am angry at myself even when typing it. I have told my aprents i am done with this woman. THey have threatned to commit suicide if i do that.(Yeah, I am not making it up!) Apparently it goes against their honor or something.
Last night i took my wife out and had a good time. WHen we came back, she hugged me, kissed me, and thanked me for taking the time out for her. She said she will take me out for soup the next day.
Next morning we are playing with the kid and she brings the kids shoes and wants the kid to wear them(the kid is playing on the bed). The shoes are obv dirty and the baby starts licking them. She looks at me and tells me angrily to tell the kid to stop it. I oblige. Kid repeats. I again tell her not to lick the shoe. Wifey then says you have to tell her not to lick the shoe so she learns its bad. At this point i am so frustrated and i tell her just get the shoes out of the rooom we dont need them now. SHe gets upset and goes to the bedroom and doesnt talk to me for two hours. I have to look after the kid during this time.
After two hours she comes back and tells me she will take me to dinner tonight. So we’re going to dinner tonight.
This happens multiple times a week. I dont have feelings anymore. I have told me parents i will commit suicide. They have cried and begged me to live with it. I dont understand how that works. But im done. I need help. Please can someone say a few words of kkindness and tell me what i can do. Because this life is not worth living. I love my daughter. But i cant take it anymore. Its like i am married to a year old kid with multple personalities.
im looking for help with:
1. What;s wrong with my wife?
2. what can i do to not kill myself.
3 comments
You’re going to kill yourself because your wife gets a little cranky? I think you need some hobbies and some coping skills.
Your wife is acting like someone with trauma. Seems like mood dysregulation. Is therapy an option?
You ask “what can I do” and the answer is help for your wife. She’s definitely struggling and it’s difficult to know how to support a spouse who would is so dysregulated.
My friend you need therapy. Your wife sounds like she has had days, like we all do. It’s really not a big deal. If her being a little upset sometimes drives you to think about suicide, please get professional help immediately. You can get help and work through these feelings. Then maybe consider encouraging your wife to also get therapy