Would you even care

48 comments

  2. It doesn’t hurt less. Cheating is cheating. She’s still deceiving you, fucking someone else. Men pretending it’s better because it’s a woman are just fooling themselves with delusional fantasies.

  4. Cheating is cheating. As far as I’m concerned, you are dead to me. You can take your stuff and shack up with your lover and get out of my life.

  8. A bit less, since lesbian sex tends to carry a lower risk of stds. So, I’d be less anxious after I broke up with her.

  11. honestly? it doesn’t even bother me. why? probably some primal ass reason that guides all men on a subconscious level. that being said, i would make the decision to care if something like this happened to me, because it’s still cheating

  12. My ex cheated on me online by being emotional support to strangers while simultaneously ignoring my declining physical health and my distressed mental state.

    Cheating is cheating. Why should it matter if it’s with a dog or a person or the same sex?

    If you just “write off” cheating of any kind then where do you draw the line?

    It doesn’t hurt less, it’s cheating and it sucks.

  13. It wouldn’t hurt less or more, just differently.

    With a man, I could easily guess the reasons behind the why of it all.

    With a woman… all I’d be left with is doubt about everything.

  15. It’d be slightly less upsetting. Unless it’s a M->F transgender woman that still had a penis. Then it’s equally upsetting. Unless she’s pegging her trans woman partner. Somehow that makes it back to just slightly less upsetting.

  16. I guess I’m in the minority. It’s still cheating, and there would be a strong chance I still leave the relationship, but I would find it much less emotionally damaging. And TBH I really can’t say why either. There’s no logical reason I should feel differently.

  17. Women experimenting sexually and emotionally with each other is something that I consider healthy, and that I encourage actively. For some reason, as a man I don’t feel challenged by that. On the contrary, I find it sensual and interesting, as it can only enhance my own experience and benefit individual maturity.

  19. She has a pass with women, so it’s not cheating. Just don’t bring them home. At 40 that just sounds like a lot of extra work for me.

  21. If my wife were to sleep with another person, our marriage would be over, no matter what their gender/sex. That’s a betrayal I couldn’t get over.

  23. For me women on woman is not cheating. The woman will not be a man which is what hopefully my GF would be into and want woman just for fun. It has to be open though, I have to know about it. And it has to be just for fun…and I want to watch 🙂

    Seriously if she snuck around behind my back I’d be concerned it generally I’ve told all my gf’s if they want o do it with another woman I give her the ok.

  25. Flip the genders in this question and you’ll have an obvious answer. That answer is the exact same as this answer. A lot because it’s cheating.

  26. I can’t explain why, but while I agree it’s still cheating I think there would be a better possibility of staying/trying to work things out if it was another woman.

  29. I think my approach would be different on this one. If my emotional needs or even intimacy needs are being met. I think I wouldn’t have a issue.

    Here’s my thing if she is providing me everything I can want from a partner I think I’d be o.k if she seen another women. Because that’s something I can’t provide or do that she wants to experience.

    Now if she ignored our relationship… then I’d be hurt all the same. If she makes me second priority I’d be hurt.

    But as for if she cheats on another man and she can’t ask me to do the same. That’s why it hurts. Your asking someone else who is no different then I who can provide same thing and ignoring me.

    Now if a woman… it’s like you know… if there’s something more… idk…

    I’d honestly have to sit it out and think and ask a-lot of whys too it.

    I mean I’d still be mad this was never brought up to me. But still..

  31. Well , if my wife cheated with another woman, the first thing on my mind is woman on woman does not have the same ick factor as being hammered out by some dude.
    Second, cheating is a two way street, what did I do or didn’t do, that prompted the desire my wife needed to satisfy by cheating? Would anyone ever be able to meet the needs of someone who needs carnal attention.

  32. Cheating is cheating.

    But you can picture it this way, the relationship with you is so bad, that she switched teams.

  34. My ex used to make out with her friends who were bi or lesbian. I used to chalk it up to think it wasn’t cheating but then I went out with them. She didn’t do it cus I was there but, I watched her other friends make out with one another and that’s when I realized I was super uncomfortable with her doing that too. Tried communicating it, but that just went from her telling me about it, to her not telling me about it.

    I left that relationship behind for other reasons. Looking back, I feel like it did a number on my confidence. It’s not nice even if it’s just having fun with your girlfriends.

  35. It’s would hurt more if I wasn’t aware that she liked women. As her spouse presumably I should know this about her.

  37. I saw my ex make out with a girl when we were still together. I was deeply hurt and it didn’t last long after that.

  38. It would hurt the same amount obviously?

    I think guys who sees that as less hurtful might not fully understand that lesbian sex is as real and sexual as heterosex.

    It’s not “just experimenting” or “just sensual” or whatever simply because there’s no dudes involved. They’re fucking.

  39. Would be wayyyyy less hurtful if she realized she was gay. Another man implies shes was looking for someone BETTER than you. Another women implies she was looking for someone DIFFERENT than you. Apples to oranges

  41. No it doesn’t hurt less. If a woman cheats, she has lied to you and that breach of trust cannot be overlooked

  42. Happened to my dad. He fell apart and nearly killed himself over the months after mom left. He’s better now.

  43. It doesn’t change it. Cheating is still cheating, some guys take it even worse since apparently they were so bad a partner that they had to change sides.

  44. My ex was bi and I was fine with her sleeping with other girls while we were together. It’s a personal preference thing.

  45. I think it would be hot. I wouldn’t be jealous because it is not in competition with what I can provide.

    But my perception is really skewed while currently going through a divorce.

  47. Cheating is cheating.

    If she left me for a woman however, I’d assume it would be for something a woman offers that I cannot.

    It’d still be hard, but not as much as it would if I was viewed as inferior to another male.

  48. I just heard a divorce lawyer talk about this in an interview about his clients and he said his husband clients reported it actually does hurt a little less or at least different because if they cheat on a man they’re saying “I want you but *better*”, but with a woman, you don’t even have those parts. You can’t possibly fulfill what she was looking for, so it stings a little less. Never happened to me though so I’m not sure how I’d personally feel. It’s definitely still cheating though.

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