Do you only date people you find physically and emotionally attractive?

30 comments

1. I would only date a guy that I find physically attractive and who seems compatible with all of my many dealbreakers.

2. What does emotionally attractive mean?

3. Yes

4. Why would you waste both your time dating someone you’re not attracted to?

5. Yes, I don’t see why I’d so any differently.

6. I’m a pansexual woman who will only form commitments with people I find emotionally and physically compatible.

   I don’t mind dating people I find less attractive, can still form healthy bonds of friendship or platonic romance.

7. I honestly feel like it is determined by what stage of life you are in. When I was younger, it was all about looks. As I got a bit older, it was about looks and an emotional connection. After my separation, it was strictly about getting a piece of ass. Now that it has been way too long since the separation and the emotional abuse he inflicted, it has become about an emotional and physical connection. The emotional, however, means more now than it ever did.

8. Yeah why would I want to be with someone unattractive?

9. as a guy yes.

   like that isnt the ONLY things that matter but are major things.

10. Yes

11. Attraction is non-negotiable and to a certain extent ineffable.

    >a lot of straight women date guys even if they don’t find them attractive

    That’s usually a recipe for disaster. And pretty much deception if you’re pretending to be into them while finding them unattractive. I think everyone deserves to be with someone who reciprocates their energy.

12. I think younger, less mature women might feel like they need to date someone they aren’t attracted to. When I was in my early 20s I went out with a guy I wasn’t attracted to. He seemed “correct” and my parents liked him. I was brought up to believe that the most important thing was that a woman was supposed to be desirable and if she was attracted to the man, it was a bonus. So yeah, it didn’t end particularly well.

    I don’t do that anymore. I learned my lesson.

13. No because I’m unattractive and don’t want to be alone. Anyone that will have me is enough for me right now

14. Well all you have to do to find the answer is go through this sub and checkout the posts where women complain how dating is hard. The vast majority of responses will tell her to lower her standards, or check your friendzone, or you already swiped left on all of the good men..
    That’s the message for women who are out of luck or feel sad. Lower your standards and date less attractive men cause those you like are the 20% and you should be looking in the 80% if you want to open up your pool. And of course some women listened and settled. They thought maybe the emotional attraction alone will be enough, or he will grow more handsome in my eyes after I fall in love or something along those lines of self delusion.

15. If you are neither physically nor emotionally attracted, what else is there? Like one or the other I can over look but a lack of both?

16. I have four boxes to check. Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. If you have at least three of the boxes checked, then I’ll consider it. But, all four would probably make you my primary love interest since that’s never happened before.

    Emotional attraction is a lot more important than physical attraction. There are hundreds of millions of pretty women in the world, but none of them care about how I think or how I feel. If you do? You’re the most attractive person on the planet.

    Mental attraction would help keep me engaged and interacting with you on a daily basis, wanting to learn as much as I can from you. I would be curious to see what you do or say next.

    Spiritual attraction would provide me security, primarily. I would be heartbroken if I believed my life partner would not be spending eternity with me, and to prevent that heartbreak, I would probably avoid getting into that romantic relationship in the first place. Likewise she could potentially believe the same with me, and that would put a lot of stress on her.

    Physical attraction would be extra cheese on the pizza. And believe me, I definitely prefer extra cheese. But it’s not necessary to still be a great pizza that I would consistently desire.

    I’m still fairly inexperienced, but that’s a glimpse of my perspective

17. I only date women who I find pleasant and welcoming.

    Like tonight, I was invited to a party where there were just too many women. Of course, I saw the exceptionally beautiful ones but I did not feel any strike to engage with them.

    I said hello to everyone and then began to observe. Before I left the party, I already got a woman’s number and she was not one of the exceptionally hot ones.

    But why?

    Because im drawn to intelligence and maturity.

    The crazy hot ones were quiet and non-engaging because ( I suppose ) they were relying on their beauty to attract people to themselves. Meanwhile, the girl I asked for her number was outspoken and engaging, and actually was demonstrating leadership. She was the head of the pack and a few others.

    I’m sorry to say, but physical beauty alone doesn’t cut it for some guys. We are looking for more important qualities.

18. Sorry but the reality is I would only date them if i like them, meaning they fall within my type and standards of beauty. Everything is physical. Why do u think we have a billion dollar beauty empires and businesses all over the country. Because looks are very important.

19. I sometimes go on dates with “maybe” guys: guys that I see as kind of attractive or potentially attractive irl. But if I don’t like a guy’s looks he can have the sweetest, most confident, perfect character but it’s just not happening for me.

    I view this dating of people you’re not attracted to, as kind of dating either out of pity or out of belief that you have to be (too) open-minded and give everyone a chance to see what comes out of it.

    I mean, imagine your partner describing you as having such a perfect character that he doesn’t care about your unattractiveness: would you consider this as something positive?

20. And after all the guys you have dated, it seems none of it has worked because you’re still lacking that relationship you seek.

    I do agree that you should be attracted to them and feel a desire but do you stop there? Is there anything else you look for in a person? Or are you ok with what you look for and when it runs its course, you’re left searching again?

    It’s great you know what you want but I think what you obviously fail at looking into is how to grow and evolve as a person and become someone that other people find to be someone they can build something with.

    These guys that are attractive that you go for I’m sure are getting attention from other women as well.

    What are you doing to maintain his interest where he sees you to be of value where other women don’t have what you do so that he stays?

    If all you are is a pretty face, that’s a dime a dozen. You obviously lack traits such as confident, charismatic, Charming, eccentric, creative, magnetic, compassionate, spontaneous, exciting, energetic, inspirational, bold, courageous, assertive, dynamic, adaptable, positive, alluring, Seductive, sensitive, light hearted, playful, authentic, expressive, emotionally intelligent, etc, which adds depth and character.

    Because of that, eventually they lose interest in you and go for someone else.

    Until you resolve that, you should focus less on what you’re looking for in a person.

    You should work on making yourself of high value that your man would easily see that finding someone like you is nearly impossible.

    At the moment, you be found around the corner

21. I think that it’s pretty normal for most of us not do so. You are only 23 so you have seen nothing yet and will figure things out. What you want and desire now may differ dramatically from how you want things to be in a decade….

    Best regards…

22. Dated a super attractive girl but damn did I lose interest in her in a couple of months.

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25. Can only date people I find attractive, but I’m a recovering sex addict and can find almost anyone attractive if I want to. It’s a blessing and a curse.

26. It used to be that your personality was far more important than looks in getting dates and things of that nature. Of course, people interacted with each other directly more in everyday existence than is typical in the current age. Now, if you are out you probably have your face in your phone or other device as does everyone else. The natural consequence of this, obviously, is that the likelihood of meeting someone through a chance encounter is significantly reduced so that rather than having a rare chance of meeting someone your chances become nonexistent. Additionally, now because potential dates don’t involve any sort of voice conversation you no longer have the opportunity to “get a foot in the door” by way of intelligent conversation, or humor, or any of the many things that make a person interesting or fun to be around. So, people have become superficial to an extent one might call “extreme.” It’s at a point that there are many guys who have simply never had any kind of chance to date anyone now who would have certainly had multiple experiences little more than 10 years ago and it has taken a toll on those guys. It is pretty much impossible to maintain anything approaching confidence when you’ve never even so much as held a woman’s hand that wasn’t a relative.
    I have been with people that weren’t necessarily attractive to me in a physical sense. Unexpectedly, those are some of the ones I developed the more serious emotions for, which I suspect is because I tended to value them for deeper reasons than mere looks. I ultimately grew to be very physically attracted to them anyway. Looks fade, it’s who they are that you grow old with and so that is what is going to truly matter in the long run. Fortunately, or unfortunately, people today aren’t going to need to worry about that because they are going to be growing old alone as society collapses around us. I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry.

27. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BHf0L8dZJbE&t=5s&pp=ygURY2hhc2luZyByZWQgZmxhZ3M%3D

    Ladies and men should watch this. Stop trying to have a list of green flags because you will possibly miss a good opportunity. Dont go chasing scum bags, druggies , and emotional man babies. But this society and our media has made being attractive to usually mean tall , fit and making money. Which does not equate to wether this person can provide emotional stability, family happiness, laughter, love, and even the ability to push you out of your comfort zone because thats when we learn about ourselves the most and become a better version of who we are.

    We(men and women) should be looking for that significant other that makes us want to wake early and start our day on our best foot. The person that pushes us to be the better versions, to strive to succeed in whatever it they are doing. Someone who wants to make changes of our bad habit not because they asked but because its considerate to making the relationship last longer .

28. yeah I feel the same if a girl is over 200lbs she probably doesn’t take very good care of herself, doesn’t check my boxes either

29. It’s mostly about looks it’s another reason why I’m walking into the woods wrapping a tarp around my head and blowing it off

30. I am dating someone I don’t really find physically attractive because everything else fits the bill and dating in my 20s is really morale crushing and I’d rather experience love than hold out just because physical attraction is the one factor that is imperfect