My only experience is as a man(20) but it just seems like with all the expectations, subtle social cues you’re expected to give and receive, all the games you have to learn to play, all the red flags to know and avoid, how to change your personality to attract people, all time and effort you’re supposed to put in only for them to leave, it just isn’t worth it to date or have a partner. I figured I’d meet someone I actually liked by chance but that didn’t work so I looked into dating and dating advice and I’ve just gotten so discouraged.
4 comments
Don’t worry about all this extra stuff and just be yourself. Someone will bite.
No, it’s not really worth it. Even if you learned everything you needed to learn, there’s so many shit people out there, it’s not even worth the bother.
As an introvert, this never really bothered me, I’ve never wanted a relationship or looked for a relationship or seeked companionship before… But in today’s world? I couldn’t even comprehend doing it even if I was someone that wanted it.
It’s kind of the opposite problem between the sexes. For women, me in particular, I’m inundated with superficial interest, and I don’t know if there’s a lot of decent human beings out there anymore. For men, it seems like however you approach in person, there’s a good chance it could be labeled cringey or creepy. Online, I don’t know if what people say are true about women. I see a lot of complaints that women expect money after a first date, which kind of makes them an escort. If women are everything that men say they are, I don’t see how any of them can justify being with a woman. It would seem like life would be so much simpler if you just made everybody asexual and our species could die out.
Sorry, went morbid there, but I don’t think it’s really worth it. Not for anybody anymore. I’m sorry.
You’re 20. At that age it’s easier to make friends and meet people through shared interests, and somehow along the way you’ll meet friends of friends. That’s where the magic happens due to the power of social vetting. If they’re curious they’ll ask their friend to ask your friend about you.
Or there’s the apps with all the challenges mentioned above but:
1. You’re a better person if you don’t play games (and also don’t get ‘ranty’ about it to dates).
2. Don’t change your personality unless it sucks or it’s an immature version of you.
Good luck out there.
You’re supposed to be your BEST self… Upfront. It’s about building yourself up and keeping a healthy relationship with yourself, so you can provide that with others. It’s about adding onto people’s lives. They have to reciprocate that, too. You should be with someone you’re attracted to and they you. Mutual attraction to simply put.