Hey Reddit, I (21M) and my ex (21F) recently broke up after 1 year and 5 months. The reason for our breakup was my unwillingness to adapt to her standards of household tasks. When we first started dating, she mentioned her dislike for having to repeat herself. However, after the breakup and my initial promise to change during the first two days, she called me and informed me of her decision.
What’s difficult for me is that we’re now in this strange zone of being exes while still expressing love for each other and using affectionate nicknames. Additionally, she continues to hang out with my sister as they had plans to attend events or see artists together while we were still dating.
She often hints that “in 6 months, if we decide to try again, I hope it’s as a better version of us.” When discussing returning borrowed belongings, she mentioned, “I’m not ready to give up the shirt you left at my place.” These comments are giving me false hope, especially when half of my friends suggest that I should move on, while the others, including close family members, recommend taking some time for myself and asking if she’s ready for a fresh start in a couple of months.
I’m just torn between cutting ties completely or remaining friends with the hope that someday we might try again.
I dont expect this to get a tone of upvotes but even writing this out helps i guess but your input on this would be super helpful
2 comments
Don’t cut ties but don’t remain friends, just be civil.
Cut ties means: it’s over get out of my life move on.
remain friends means: you still waiting so you “didnt evolve”.
Focus on yourself, hit the gym, hobbies, career, friends whatever it is for your own well being and growth.
Her and you? Wait and see then let it be.
Good luck.
Just focus on your life. Don’t make decisions off a possibility with a person and do what you would do with or without them. “If you’re going to do the thing with the boy, you better want to do it without him too”
I truly believe in destiny but not in the letting things be sense. But in the “I grew to like this very niche art thing and my ex from 5 years ago grew in the same direction very coincidentally”
People grow together and grow apart. If that person is meant to be in your life you will always grow to a point of reconnection again. Ideally at some point in the relationship, you will learn how to survive those periods of growth in other directions and manage to stay together.