These last 2 years my business has been on life support. While giving 1000% to maintaining the business, my relationship struggled and recently came to an end.
I’m 31 (32 in February) and feel like I am restarting from scratch. I feel old and somewhat struggling with this whole concept (friends are all married & having kids, yet I’m newly single and not sure what direction to go). I have the ability to save about $2,500 a month by moving back in with family and am trying to decide the route I want to take.
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34 (almost) 35. Has its ups and downs like anything. I came back because my dad has a neurological condition that is slowly getting worse and my mom has other medical issues and takes care of my niece and nephew. I in good conscious couldn’t of stayed in Florida being Mr. bachelor and chasing girls when my parents who have always been there for me needed help. I also want to cherish being around them and my other family as much as I can because I know at some point they won’t be here. Naturally it’s hard to explain when dating and why I can ask or bring girls home or do certain independent activities I use to.
You go at your own pace and do what you have to do without worrying who is a head of you because nobody is. Everyone is fighting their own battles and setback/difficulties will always happen regardless of who you are .
Go for what you want. You want financial stability and a girl, go for it. The 30s are the easiest time to date.
Go home, save money. As expensive as rent, housing and auto loans are, lots of people are living at home. My children can stay home as long as they are working or going to school and saving money. You have a chance to save 10s of thousands a year. Do it.
Dating? If they look down on you for making a smart financial decision, they aint for you. They are probably paycheck to paycheck living in a 500 sqft apartment for 1500 a month. Stupid flex imo.
It only affected it positively. I moved back for a year, saved a ton of money and then moved back out. And I got to bond with my parents like I’d never done before and we fixed a lot of broken bridges now that we’re all adults.
With that said, I was still very glad to move back out and into my own place again. But it was all great anyway.
in a few years here i’m probably going to move back home, i’d like to accomplish a few work things and wait for my gf to get her next step in her career started and have us both move around the same time.
my parents are aging and i want to move back to my home city to take of them and manage their properties and estates as they’re asking me to.
it’s probably not what your asking but, my dad wants to give me the home and then he spends most of his time in asia. so i move back to the family home, get my name of the title and then he stay with me a few months of the year.
I was an electronics technician and felt that I reached my peak at 29, I couldn’t see where staying in my position would pay off. So I quit a well paying job right before I was about to buy a house, then moved home and pursue an engineering degree.
It ended up being very intellectually rewarding, not so much financially. Maybe if I would have moved quicker… In the end, I was out of work for about 10 years (as a HS drop-out, I first spent the first year remodeling my mothers house as payment while I figured out what I was going to do, another year doing regular undergrad college work to get basics out of the way and teach myself how to learn, I had to move to a bigger city where there was an engineering school, that was a year to re-establish myself (and I worked during this time), then 4 years undergrad. Moved again, then about 2 years of trying to get a jr engineering job in my late thirties).
All told, I would have been better off sticking with where I was and taking advantage of how easy the work was, continuing to contribute to 401k & buying a house. Now I’m in my mid 40s and I have a mortgage that I can’t pay off until AFTER I RETIRE…
My story is just one that shows you should have a solid plan, I just kept winging it until I got somewhere, and that cost me a lot.
Everybody has their own path.
Only thing its had a negative impact on is dating, because even though im swerving renting so i can triple my saving power and buy, its apparently still a big red flag lol.
Its made every other aspect of my life less stressful and more productive.
A reminder that people who care about you, don’t care about the things you’re worried about
You’re currently at a point where you need to view this all from a purely utilitarian standpoint. Save money, recognize this is a rough patch in your life and the aim is to get back to what you personally view as “normal”
Overall (but especially now) there is no value in comparing yourself to others. Not only does this not make sense, it’s not good for your mental well being and you’re going to be having certain levels of isolation due to moving back with your family at first
What I mean is, if you actively want to make your life hard, with no benefits attached, then sure keep comparing yourself to others)
I don’t care about this, and I’m sure other internet strangers and society overall doesn’t care that you’re moving in with your rents
And to bring back what I said above, sure, there might be a rando or someone you know which might have a negative perception towards what you’re doing. While you can for sure take this again, as society wanting to kick you while you’re down, and cause you feel bad about yourself
You could also accept the reality of the situation: that person isn’t society, that’s just someone in your life that’s a dick. No genuine friend, no potential SO and your family would view you as a failure for what you’re doing. So anyone that does, is a good indicator that you should keep an arm’s length away rom them. Because they’re not looking out for your best interests
Outside of that, anecdotally the big ones that I know friends told me is that this for sure impacts dating, and also your “day to day” makes it feel like you’re a kid again (depending on how soon you moved out of your parent’s place)
These are just realities which need to be accepted. Big life changes come with positives and negatives, and the obvious one here is the fact that social situations generally are experienced in private areas, and for most our families aren’t involved.
You’ll be okay, but the key things to remember is that this is temporary, and that this will take a toll more on your mental well being than anything else
As someone who just went through what you did, I’d say move back in with your parents. You’re obviously going through a lot, why add financial instability to the mix? It’s a difficult pill to swallow, but you have an opportunity to set yourself up for the future and you get to know your parents in a different way (authority of parent/child relationship is not as blatant, you can see your parents more as friends). It’ll suck at first, but once you process your former relationship and start focusing on your future you’ll be in a much better place.
Had a mental breakdown, quit my job and moved back home states away. That was January 2020. Mental health didn’t get any better but I did find work with better pay and saved about 10k and then was able to move back out on my own. As of today I’ve paid off 6k in Student loans and have 40k in the bank.
I’m 28 and had to temporarily move back in. Where I live there are just no options right now for places to live unless I spend far outside my budget with no roommate, and I have far too much anxiety/dislike of strangers to live with somebody I’ve never met.
I know it’s me and my relationship with my parents but it’s been hard mentally/emotionally. I have a bit of unresolved trauma and issues that come from my upbringing and them and a lot of the stuff I thought I had healed from has been reopened along with some new stressors and pain. I am very thankful to have their support and be able to save money while living here, but if I had a better option I would take it and leave in an instant.
Went back to my parents around the start of COVID. I have saved thousands of dollars. Honestly it’s nice as hell.
Sorry to hear about your relationship. I studied entrepreneurship in college and tried it afterwards, and one of the things I learned from that is that entrepreneurs need to find very special partners who are okay with a person being married to two things.
I went back to school and became a teacher, and I ended up having to move back home because my living situation with roommates ended up coming to an end very suddenly red as I was about to start my first job. I went back home and live with my parents the first year for two reasons: I wanted to save money for an engagement ring for my now wife and I needed something laid back enough to get my career off to the correct start.
If your relationship with your parents is good enough for the offer to be on the table, take the reset and go figure it out, especially if you can save money.
*”have the ability to save about $2,500 a month by moving back in with family “*
You already answered your own question.
I moved back when I was 31 y/o but I was only gone for about a year. I left for a job, but it didn’t work out. It didn’t really impact me that much because i’m back to where I was before I left. Back to my old job. But I have a better appreciation for saving money on rent. I’m also helping my parents out around the house since they are getting older. I think saving more money and being around family made it worth it and I’m not going to be in this situation forever
Saved more money,now I can buy even better gaming gears
My son moved back when he was 28 after getting a divorce now he’s 40 and remarried with a great life.
I worked in the business coaching industry for 8 years – and the best piece of advice I can give is swallow the ego and do it. The perception of it being a step back is false, this is moving forward into growth and part of the process – as the humility, stress tolerance, self awareness, discipline and drive to pull yourself out of it is not something that can be taught. Bonus points is you get to reconnect with your parents, and a good opportunity to make a more meaningful connection.
Avoid dating in that time, just head down and forward until dawn.
For reference, I’ve just got out of this industry and feel like I’m restarting myself at 38
what?
arent we all bakc to our parents house?
who here early 30s can afford rent anyway?