Why is that I talk to some people they call me names, and some people straight up tolerate me, like I have to call their name 2 times for them to answer and most of the time they seem uninterested.
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It seems very few people care what I have to say.
I heard sayin “If u were boring I wouldn’t talk to you” yet I’m so interesting that they talk so I listen when I try to talk they over-talk me and keep talking.
So why is that is it because I lack charisma is it because birds of a feather flock together what is it?
I’m seriously tired of this issue as I might get depressed.
19 comments
Could be that your voice is low, I feel like I am loud but actually am not. Try to be more loud this way you would also come off as confident and thus people would be interested talking to you
Well ! If you want attention … create an attention grabbing persona ! Dress different … disagree with the some of the generally agreed norms … ! In short be different ! You also employ push and pull tactic in social interactions making them a bit puzzled and feel mysterious about you !
But remember don’t fake a personality ! Persona is projection … personality is real !
Does this happen regularly with strangers too or in a more or less enstablished social group?
That’s a shit situation, don’t want to tell you to get new friends but maybe start to surround yourself with some different people who would care what you have to say.
It comes down to thier rudeness and lack of respect. They aren’t worth your time. Maybe make a point next time you have to do this and ask whether they have a hearing problem as you have to repeat yourself?
Your opinion and what you have to say always important.
Same, i feel like everyone ignores me for some reason I can’t understand.
Whenever i talk i feel like people are just being like: yeah yeah yeah now shut up.
And it doesn’t help my social anxiety at all
If it’s a matter of the people you’re talking to lacking self-awareness, then in this case you could say something like “I don’t feel like you’re really listening to what I have to say, can you give me moment until I finish what I have to say?”….or if it’s a case of them just being rude, then just move on and find kind people to share your time with because rude people are not worth your energy.
No it’s not u it them. I get that to. People always talk over me too. I say hold on wait a min let me finish. Then if they over talk me again I just leave. Then they tell me where are u going. I say I’m leaving because u clearly aren’t listening
Yeh same. I had all my friends leave me cause i never talked about anything interesting cause my parents don’t let me watch stuff they talk about or go out with them cause i’m too young even though I’m 17
What are the topics you discuss with those people? Could it be something they’re not interested in/ find annoying? Is it everyone you interact with or just one group of people? Anyways, they don’t seem like the friendliest people if they ignore you and call you names. Are these people adults?
You may be very timid or monotone. Social media and TV is full of people who express themselves quite well. Regular people start to expect that of others.
So even if people enjoy talking to you, they may not find the conversation “fun” because you are not emotive.
Have you ever noticed how some people can hold a large groups attention with a story, but the story itself is pretty boring? It’s not what you say, but how you say it.
How does the saying go?
People won’t remember what you said
People won’t remember how you made them think
But they will remember how you make them feel
Some people I talk to bore me. And other people seem endlessly interesting. I also know that I bore some people when I talk. And others will listen to me for hours.
#1 Some people just want to talk. They are good at talking but terrible at listening. We can cut these people out or talk to them about it frankly (maybe we end up doing both).
#2 Sometimes we talk about things that the other person isn’t interested in. In this case, we need to cater our stories or conversations to the right people.
#3 Sometimes we just aren’t great at telling stories or asking questions, so we need to practice.
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I regularly look for all three of these when I talk to others. And I regularly practice my storytelling, question-asking, and topic selection, both on my own and around others.
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*Caveat. When you’re going through a hard time and need to vent, ask the person or let them know. Many times they recognize the need and will be gracious even if you’re a rambling mess.
It’s half about the people you talk to and half about how you insert yourself into conversations. Being confident helps with learning to speak up.
Most people don’t wanna listen..good listeners are rare kinda I used to think I’m boring but my friends doesn’t think that and whoever calls you boring doesn’t mean you literally are just you two aren’t compatible..they just project their feelings onto you
If they are starting to talk over you you have to get LOUDER. Don’t too talking and continue and get louder if they’re talking over you
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It’s tough when you feel like people aren’t giving you the attention and respect you deserve. Social interactions can be complex, and there could be various reasons for the way people are behaving.
It’s essential to remember that everyone has different communication styles and comfort levels. Sometimes, people might not be aware of how their actions affect others. It’s not necessarily about lacking charisma or not being interesting enough; it could be more about how others perceive the situation or their own issues.
Developing good communication skills can help. Active listening, empathy, and finding common ground can make conversations more engaging. It might also be helpful to surround yourself with people who appreciate and respect you for who you are. If these feelings persist and affect your well-being, talking to a mental health professional or a counselor could provide valuable support.
That really sucks but if you want to talk, I’m here to listen.
Harsh fact of life: if you’re not someone worth listening to, people won’t…and even then you must posses the qualities you’ve mentioned in your post (charisma, charm, humour, being articulate, etc.) to hold people’s attention.
But unless you BECOME a person of value, people in general won’t consider you worth listening to 🤷🏻
Find new friends. If you don’t want to do that, come up with new names for those calling you names and see how they like it. And then tell them to grow up.