I decided earlier this week that it’s time to end my 9 year relationship and now I’m insecure
I’ve been talking with a lot of people and reading a bunch of posts lately about situations that are close to mine, and the conclusion i got after all of this, is that the best thing to do for me (m30) and my wife (f29) is to end things.
I’ve decided to talk with her this sunday, tomorrow, and to explain all that’s been happening and how i feel about our relationship.
For a little of context, her previous relationship left her with some deep scars and with some mental health issues and although I’ve been trying to help the last few years, it’s gotten to the point that I’m getting sick as well cause of her controlling behaviours.
Her therapist said that since she didn’t have time to deal with those stuff, she’s projecting everything that happened before in our current relationship.
I know that it’s the most logical thing to do, but the thought of breaking her heart makes me really sad as i still love her and i can help but get flustered as i was expecting to do this tomorrow.
Any advice?
Tl;dr: even though i know that breaking up will benefit bot of us in the long run, i feel insecure as i still love her and don’t want to break her heart.
5 comments
If you’re not happy then you should probably break up. No matter how much you’ve been through together does it really matter if you guys are absolutely in love and wanting to get better. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years I realized that I was trying to make something work that never was going to and I am so God damn happy now that we broke up.
No real advice. Just know there’s no good way to do it, it will feel shitty and you will probably regret it. But those feelings don’t mean it was the wrong choice.
It can be helpful to have a written listen of why breaking up is important and negative relationship events to help keep that in focus.
Also, before breaching it have a rough plan for who should stay where. Keep in mind depending on your location if you leave the home you lose rights to the home. Being the one to leave is the nice thing to do though.
So sorry you’re in this situation. It’s incredibly painful and there’s no way out of it but through.
Have you tried couples counseling?
>I’ve decided to talk with her this sunday, tomorrow, and to explain all that’s been happening and how i feel about our relationship.
IMO this will make it worse.
If you want to split and leave, don’t make it worse explaining too much.
Just plan an exit and leave.
Wish you well.
Note: Assuming you really want to break up above everything.
Crazy idea but have you tried…ya know…talking to her about this before blowing up your entire marriage?