My wife has pretty low libido, but to her credit, she is always trying to get in the mood.
She is constantly trying to make an effort because she knows I am the higher libido in our relationship and we try to meet one anothers needs always.
Still her saying “I want to want to get in the moods” or “I want to want to have sex” hurts.
She is open to trying some ***non-drug and non-alcoholic*** aphrodisiacs. Shes talked about red maca, but she seemed on the fence.
So, if I could get some advice about aphrodisiacs for women specifically (she’s not menopausal or premenopausal if that matters).
It would just be nice to have sex more often than we change the clocks (not really an exaggeration).
Thanks y’all
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There aren’t really any aphrodisiacs for humans. The closest you can get are amphetamines like methamphetamine or MDMA or Adderall. Even those don’t really make you more horny, they just make you feel more energized in a way that can express itself through sex. They are all illegal or prescription too.
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Love me or hate me but I recall a program that discussed testosterone being an aphrodisiac for women and so through kissing, a woman might receive testosterone through the saliva of her male partner helping to put her in the mood. Doesn’t sound to far fetched but I don’t know what the science/chemistry says.
Ok. Here are the keys to the kingdom. It’s a long term game.
First, help her get stress free. The dirty dishes, the bills, the barking dog. Whatever it may be. Take away as much as you can. (You mentioned drugs and alcohol and those work because the get rid of inhibitions and not worry about the daily grind of life)
Make her feel sexy. Help her wear things she feels good in. Tell her how she looks good. Make her feel good naked and loved.
When the mood is right, the secret weapon 91% of women love. Dirty talk. Be assertive. Be aggressive. Come up behind her, kiss her neck and say, “You’re the sexiest thing even, I’m going to bend you over and fuck you right now.” then do it. Obviously you know her and have to tailor the words to things she will like. When you’re fucking her, keep up the dirty talk. Tell her how good she feels, the things you want to do to her. You have to feel her out, talk to her after, find the things she likes most. This is the aphrodisiac you may be looking for.
I don’t expect it would solve your problems, but has she tried reading erotic novels? I know that really flips a switch for some people.
There is nothing non-alcoholic or non-drug that will make your wife horny if she doesn’t want sex otherwise. Weed actually works for a lot of women. You can ingest small amounts of edibles to avoid smoking. I would think this is a reasonable compromise to make if she is trying to accommodate. Or, you could just get yourself in smoking hot shape, so seeing you and touching you turns her on! I would be very appreciative if my SO did that for me. 🙂
Reduce her stress, make sure she sleeps well, and offer her a full body massage. Sex brings sex!
Viagra works on women the same as men. The increased bloodflow will make them more sensitive, thereby increasing arousal. Also perform oral, pick up your dirty clothing, wash some dishes, vacuum, and put down the toilet seat. Tell her how much she turns you on. Men ate visual, women are auditory. Communication is key, and viagra
1) obligatory mention of basic medical workup, as various issues from thyroid to low potassium can decrease interest in sex.
I’m a broken record here, but please buy a copy of *Come As You Are* by Emily Nagoski. Women’s sexuality simply isn’t the same as men’s, and if you want to touch women’s parts you should understand them. You will both get a great deal more pleasure from the interaction.
It’s not an absolute, but many women have more “responsive” desire, which needs waking up with some talk or other stimulation of the brain. You can do this.
Even if your goal is to get her to initiate sex, it’s possible to frontload it:
Do lots and lots and lots of sorta nonsexual caring action. Brushing her hair off her shoulder, “helping” her out of a chair, bringing a cup of tea. Noticing her manner of dress, or advising on it.
Tell her she’s hot. *you are the hottest thing, you can have me anytime with a click of your fingers, I think about you always. If someday (not today) you were to greet me with lingerie on, I would melt with joy.*
Send a text that’s a flirty. Or leave a little handwritten note. Do it frequently.
Gifts
Erotic literature. Maybe a book about something that she’s into or fantasizes about? Works like a charm for a lot of women I know!
I’d recommend she see her gynecologist to get her hormone levels checked. Estrogen, progesterone and testosterone are all important and PPs are correct that testosterone is important to females and can boost libido’s as well (their levels are just much lower than males) and women’s testosterone levels begin decreasing around the age of 30.
Have you tried doing the dishes and other chores around the house? 🙂
j/k.. hope you find some good answers here.
Those little blue pills work for women as well. It is a drug though.
Turn on her mind.
Take away the stress.
Have her read a dirty story
Watch a sexy movie (porn or not something sexy)
Ask her what dirty talk she likes. About her body. Other people. Domination, does she like to be a good girl!?
Since no one has said this has she gotten her hormone levels checked?
The only thing that could theoretically work is cinnamon.
I’m quite knowledgeable on supplements, and unfortunately nothing is going to move the needle significantly. But, one thing to consider is testosterone therapy for women. Women need testosterone too, despite what many believe, and it’s becoming a more common practice.
It needs to be done under the guidance of a doctor, and the doses are a small fraction of what a male would get. But if she has low levels, it could be an absolute game changer for her.
Maca root and ashwagandha. Check amazon.com read reviews there are plenty of women testifying that these work
She should get tested for the MTHFR gene mutation. I have it and my doctor has me taking methylated B vitamins and vitamin D, as well as some other supplements. Lemme tell you – GAME CHANGER for my libido! I got on it in 2017 and my libido hasn’t changed since.