I (26F) have been with my partner for a year and 8 months.
Towards the beginning of our defined relationship, 2 months into actually dating but long distance, my partner was getting nudes from someone else and even went on a date with third girl and talked to her for some weeks. He then cut it off with both of them after he said he started really feeling our relationship 3 months in.
But I can’t get over it, I feel like that’s the time he should have been in the “honey moon phase”? I feel like there is chance maybe I am not thinking this through logically enough, and I should cut more slack because we weren’t together physically at the time but we were still dating. We were still sharing very intimate things and forming our own connections.
What do I do, if anything, to get past this? It’s something I think about all the time.
We’ve had other issues, with him not being truthful about certain things but nothing nearly as big as this.
TLDR; Partner cheated early on in the relationship but we hadn’t been together physically at that point, we were long distance – I’m unsure about if my feelings are valid or not being upset.
3 comments
question: when you say ‘defined relationship’, what was defined? did you agree to both be exclusive right off the bat? how did you find this out – did he tell you, or did you find out some other way?
Why would it be unreasonable for you to be upset that your partner cheated on you after you agreed to be exclusive? He shouldn’t have asked for exclusivity if he still wanted to pursue other options.
Sounds like this is a pattern that hasn’t changed.
He still cheated on you, so yes your feelings are valid.