I’m a 23 year old woman and I absolutely despise penetration. There’s something oddly weird about having an object inside you like that. It makes me feel uneasy and disturbed.
I had sex when I was 17 with my high-school boyfriend that was the same age. We were friends for years and had a lot of trust in each other. It was hard but we made it work. I think I was just anxious and couldn’t get as into it or turned on.
We tried it other times on a better occasion but I didn’t like it. It went in but it felt traumatizing and I don’t know why. I’ve never been sexually assaulted or anything but I’m a very hypersensitive and paranoid person. We tried to make it work to stimulate my clit while he did it and it was okay for a while but it still felt underwhelming and he couldn’t keep his hand on it nonstop while thrusting.
Even with a guy I trust and like, I can’t do it. I feel like it’s so demenaing to have someone inside my body and use it for their pleasure when I’m not even into it. My last boyfriend broke up with me because of it since our sex life revolved around me giving him head or him rubbing his dick on the outside of my vagina. He’d ask me if he could at least put the head in and I don’t blame him for wanting more.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve really tried almost anything I can think of to make it work. I don’t want to not have a boyfriend for the rest of my life.
16 comments
When you meet the right person, you’ll feel differently. I’m a man, and I won’t put my cock inside a woman just because she says yes. I have to have some feeling, some connection, or be in love. It’s very intimate, and for me, I don’t take it lightly. When I was younger, I’d fuck anyone that wanted too but not anymore. Can’t do it. When you meet Mr. Right, and you love him, you’ll want him inside you.
There are plenty of asexual people out there that would definitely be cool with no penetration, but they also might not want to participate in ANY sexual activities.
You MIGHT want to see a therapist to get to the bottom of these feelings and see if it’s something that you can change (if you want) or accept.
Overall though… sex is normal and natural in most relationships, and although there is someone out there for you, I won’t lie… it will be harder to find.
Good luck.
You’re asexual, combined with an actual revulsion instead of purely a personal preference – which means you can probably forget ever feeling otherwise about it.
All I can say, is good luck because I’ve never met a straight man who would not want to do it, ever.
What penetration/activity are you able to achieve by yourself without discomfort?
Can you orgasm from clitoral stimulation for example? And do you enjoy it?
Asexual men, trans men, men with a micropenis or are otherwise physically incapable of penetration are all options. If you’re positive that you’re straight and want a relationship with a guy with zero penetration, you’re probably going to have to find a guy where it’s not on the table to begin with.
Maybe find someone who has a micro penis? Not being rude, but it might work out well?
Can you orgasm without a partner.?
Have any of your partners tried to help you orgasm by asking what you like?
Sounds a bit one sided.
Perhaps if you ended up with someone who had your pleasure as a priority things might be different for you.
Older guy here. There are guys out there who are not mad on penetration.
We are aware that most women do not come this way…. in which case it seems rather non inclusive. Ie You are just using her for your own pleasure. Not a nice place to be. many guys will be happy with hand job or blow job.
1/ it takes all then hassle out of birth control dramas
2/ They can focus on does actually works you
3/ When you bring the guy to blast off … it means he can really relax and focus on the sensations you are giving him. For many guys, to be pleasured by hj, bj is such an intimate caring act … big turn on … he is giving up control. Guys spend all day every day trying to be in control (emotions, job, mental worries, fear of inadequacy etc). So to park all that and let someone else take control in such an intimate way is MMMMM
4/ If you’re not actually trying for kids then vanilla sex is a bit pointless
These days you have apps like Feeld where you can put in .. I like…I don’t like
Plenty of guys out there happy with hj, bj and will try and do what works for you.
Disregard the nonsense below about being asexual. That means having NO interest in sex at all. Which is not where you are at.
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How do you feel about trans men?
You can use your mouth for pleasure of someone else but not you vagina which gives you pleasure too not only him! Weird ! If you can’t give your body to other person for pleasure then why use your mouth??
I personally would take a BJ instead of penetration any time of the day. I can’t be the only one.
I’ve always thought it a little curious most women are okay with the idea of a guy penetrating them especially with the intention of injecting them with bodily fluid.
There are so many ways to get off so why the focus on penetration? Sure , it may be a deal breaker for some but there are loads of men who would be fine, provides for the their needs are met in other ways.
We do exist. I’m a dude and penetration alone does almost nothing for me, to the point where I need to mix it up to make any penetration work (I could live without it easily). I get the vast majority of my mental stimulation from other stuff – body worship, giving oral, grinding etc.
It’s a tough sell as a guy as well but sex is about pleasure, not specific acts. Don’t lose hope!
Try using yrs while riding him. Do you like oral. Most guys could put up w 69
I hate penetration! I never had the urge to penetrate a woman. I really dont like the act at all. I even faked orgasm once to finish it faster. Now i dont do penetration anymore.
But it is true, its hard to find people. Even most women need penetration. I only date women who hate penetration, too 😅
There is no community for this, its just pure luck. I try to be as open as possible about it