My (27f) husband (29m) have been married for two years, but together for over 10 years. Before we were married there were several instances of physical “abuse” during big arguments (usually started by something really small). These instances were things like throwing stuff at me, twisting the collar of my shirt till it’s a little chokey, once picking me up and tossing me onto the couch, probably other things that I can’t really remember. Obviously i know i shouldnt have stayed for that, but i did… i still feel angry at myself for allowing that. He has since grown a lot and is a completely different person than he used to be. The last occurrence of this was 5 years ago and it’s never happened since. We still have heated arguments occasionally, but it never gets to that point, ornif it gets so heated he will go to a different room. But even now it’s something I still think about, and I still have resentment and doubts about getting married. I feel a little stuck and like I’m being unfair for holding something from so long ago against him. I am in therapy, but I literally just started and we haven’t gotten that far yet. Any way, just any advice/insight is helpful. Can’t go to my friends or family because none of them know.
Tldr: abuse happened years ago, sort of still bothers me. Just need advice