How to overcome the feeling that I may not and may never be seen as a candidate for a relationship

Firstly, this is important. I’m not an incel 😆

However I’m 38 and I’ve never had a relationship. Firstly, I’ve never really wanted a relationship with anyone other than two women I met over the years but they werent interested in me and besides, I was not ready for a relationship at those times. Those women were more like concrete representations of an ideal to get me through hard times (if that makes any sense). I’ve only ever been at best a FwB (but even then only at uni) and for everything else I’ve only just met women casually through the gym, work, a few nights out (but, not for a few years as I’ve been on SSRIs)

I feel that, based on life experiences, when I’m not in a physically trained state I’m not attractive as I am naturally tall – but not so tall I stand out – and very slim. So I suppose I even look unhealthy, lazy, uncommitted to anything. But when I am in a physically trained state I look very masculine and probably look aggressive (just the way my body composition and facial features are) – I’m not seen as ‘relationship material’. Plus some of my personal interests – gym, nature photography – are quite solitary in nature so when I do online dating I probably come accrues as someone who is never going to want to be tied down. I am quite independent and while not emotionally detached I am very comfortable being single. I’ve never felt a need to be wi to someone. Only a want, and only with a select few women.

But I do want to start a relationship sooner rather than later.

I’ve go every confidence I can go out and find women interested in me. But I do fear I’ll only ever be seen as someone to have sex with.

How to I break this feeling? What can I do to make myself seem more suitable for and wanting Of a loving relationship?