I’m struggling so much after my boyfriend broke up with me because he said he didn’t feel ready/mature enough to take our relationship to the next step- formalizing it.
It’s been 10 months already and I’m still not over this. While visiting his IG profile recently I discovered he follows and likes the provocative photos of an Instagram influencer and it’s led to me feeling so insecure. I just didn’t think he was the kind to follow such a vain and indecent person. I mean, he can do whatever he wants, we’re not together but.. I can’t help comparing myself to that girl. I remember asking him if he liked girls with big breasts and he’d deny it (I have small breasts) and this influencer has huge breasts.
I just feel.. I just feel so bad about this.
But I also found out he likes the bikini photos of a former classmate of his and that he did that when we were together – that’s the problem.
I feel so betrayed. Angry. Sad. Heartbroken.
For the first time since the breakup, I feel resentment towards him and I don’t want to feel this. I just never had eyes for anyone else when we were together and I thought he was the same. I never felt insecure during our relationship. He made me feel so secure.
I didn’t even mean to see what girls he followed the day I found that out.. honestly. I was just going to his profile because I missed him and I wanted to look at the page of a guy he follows that makes funny videos and watch a few of those and connect to him that way.. I hope that makes sense.
I don’t know what to think about him anymore.
I feel like I discovered a side of him I didn’t know and I feel so, so disappointed.
I also feel like he owes me an apology. I wish I could call him out. I wish I could let him know I know what he’s done. But it makes no sense to do it, I know.
Yet, I can’t get this out of my head. I’m feeling so insecure and sad these days.
Afraid to never be able to trust someone again.. betrayed..
I loved him so, so much. I feel so heartbroken.
I keep visiting that Instagram influencer’s page every day and that’s just not helping me but I feel like I can’t stop.
I don’t know what to do. 😓ðŸ˜ðŸ’”
2 comments
First you must love yourself if you want to be loved. You comparing yourself to a girl you see on the screen pretty much says that you need to focus on yourself first. At least that’s my take
How long were you guys together?