Guilty love

Is this wrong? I F(19) have a crush on my boyfriends step dad M(39) who is also married. I want to pursue but my fear gets the best of me. I’m probably nothing to him but I can’t help but want more and to see a perfect sign then he feels the same. There’s always the occasional sign but never one that has me convinced he feels how I do. It’s a bad thing and I don’t know what to do with myself. What should I do? And should I even pursue?

I’ve had this crush at about 2 years into knowing him. There’s no realistic sign he feels the same and it’s all I want. We went out to a get together and I was with my boyfriend M(21) his step dad was there and so was his wife. I asked him to buy me a drink and he did several times. His wife knew ofc. He appreciated me asking him for something and gave me a hug like a side hug. And he gave me like 2 or 3 more side hugs that night. When I would leave and come back I would have to talk to him in his ear because the music was so loud and he held my back, with one hand like on the waist kind of but not really anyway it felt amazing. He even offered for us to come back to his hotel . But us as in me and my boyfriend.

This week especially I’ve had dreams about me and him, also being able to remember most of it. The dreams revolved around us being together and running away but also very sexual things. I can’t get him off my mind. His marriage seems fine I’m sure he’s happy but I just can’t help but want him with me even if it’s secretly.

Today I saw him and wore a more show off outfit with my boobs out and he looked at them while he was sitting next to me but only for a second. But I loved it. Our talking manner is nothing but jokes, sometimes when I make fun on him I sometimes think he’s blushing but I’m not sure. He threw pillows at me and I threw em back. Nothing flirty. Nothing romantic, it’s only ever jokes.

He’s said to my boyfriend that I was the most perfect girl. That I always look nice. He’s never mean always nice always sweet. But he’s married. Idk what to do. I’m so deep in this all I can do is fantasize at night and dream of what it could be.

TL;DR i F(19) have a huge crush on my boyfriends step dad M(39) but he’s married.