I (24F) have always HATED my first name. It’s extremely rare and weird. I hate seeing it anywhere or hearing it out loud. I always put off legally changing it, but I’ve decided I finally want to do it.
I’m not sure how to approach the topic with my parents. They know I hate my name, but not that I plan to change it. I know this will upset them, because they spent a lot of time trying to find a “unique” name for me.
I’m thinking it might offend them slightly less if I let them pick my new name. I have 3 names picked out, and I could let them pick from those.
But, I’m afraid they won’t want to call me any of the new names. I know it’ll be hard for them to stop calling me what they’ve called me my whole life, but I would prefer them to respect my wishes.
I also don’t know how to announce it to the rest of my family without it being awkward. My family can be pretty judgmental sometimes, so I fear what they think. Sometimes I consider not telling my family at all, and maybe just letting them continue to use my old name, but I seriously hate hearing that name.
Is my plan to let my parents pick 1 of the 3 names a good idea? Should I insist on my family using the new name or just let it slide? How can I handle this the best way possible?
TLDR: I hate my unique name and want to legally change it. I planned to give my parents a list of 3 names and let them pick one of them to be my new name, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. I’m also unsure of if or how I should get everyone to use the new name. How can I handle this in the least awkward way possible?
3 comments
Ugh, I feel you. Parents can be so extra sometimes. Just tell them straight up that you wanna change your name and give ’em the options to choose from. And if they don’t wanna call you by your new name, just ignore it and keep reminding them until they get it right. As for the rest of the fam, maybe just casually mention it or let them figure it out on their own? You do you boo.
I mean, I think it would help the conversation go smoother if you approached it as “I don’t feel like my name fits the person I’ve become” as opposed to “I hate my name and have always hated it”. The latter might be true, but you don’t hafta actually SAY that, ya know? If you’re truly fine with offering your parents a choice, that’s a lovely gesture – but it could backfire on you, in that it could be interpreted as indecision, so they may just try to talk you into keeping your name. I don’t know your folks though, so you hafta decide how likely that would be.
You can tell them “Hey, I’ve started using NewName in professional settings.” Or “I go by NewName now. I know it will take getting used to, but it’s important to me.”