25 year old female, been with partner since 16 in high school. Everything is perfect in the relationship – fantastic communication, fantastic treatment, fun times, trust, the best of friends, and love. The sex is great too, but there’s this one problem: female can’t stop thinking about/ wanting to have sex with other guys. Never had any sexual relations with anyone else before meeting him, she did everything sexually with him. They broke up for a bit, he had sexual experiences with other girls, she tried and had some very drunken, unfulfilling experiences. They got back together because she feared losing him for good and the love between them was still there. She sees a future with him and he is what she wants in a partner. What is going on here, has anyone else experienced this, and any advice on what to do? These thoughts have existed from the start of the relationship but it’s never been a reason to want to break up and go separate ways but because the thoughts have lingered for so long, it’s gotten to a point where the female is down a lot, and triggered by talk of casual sex, fun experiences eg hearing a friend talk about a one night stand or movies about flings etc. Female is also experiencing a fear of aging. Woke up and cried on her 23rd birthday because of a fear of getting older and not being beautiful anymore and “missing out” on the opportunities to have fun and have lots of sex, attention and experiences with other males. Background: in early years of high school experienced much rejection from males that she liked, met her partner and had an incredible friendship and got together. Around about the same time, she matured and started to get a LOT of attention from other males so it became this pressing need to want to pursue it. Seen a psychologist and psychologists advice was to pick a side and commit to it. She can’t fathom letting him go of him for sexual experiences but it’s been 9 years now and she wants these thoughts to go away. She is open with him about this and he says he has experienced the same thing too but he has a much easier time grasping the concept of wanting the relationship more than wanting the flings. They’re not open to opening the relationship to other partners either. Please help, any advice would be appreciated but please be kind (but real). Thank you.
1 comment
Why is this in the third person? Who are you in relation to these two people? This seems like you’re trying to diagnose a relationship and not like you’re the person in it.